Why Your Bank Account is Jealous of These Four Banks’ $681 Billion Growth! 💸

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In a shocking twist that could only happen in the world of finance, the top four US banks have decided to inflate their assets by a staggering $681.71 billion in just three months. Yes, you read that right—$681.71 billion! According to the ever-reliable S&P Global, it seems these banks have been hitting the gym and bulking up their balance sheets. 💪

Now, if you’re wondering how this compares to the previous quarter, let me just say it’s like comparing a hot air balloon to a deflated beach ball. The combined assets of JPMorgan Chase, Bank of America, Citibank, and Wells Fargo ballooned by 5.9%, while last quarter they were busy contracting by 2.9%. Talk about a glow-up!

JPMorgan Chase & Co., the heavyweight champion of US banks, reported a jaw-dropping increase of $355.04 billion in assets. That’s right, folks, they’re now sitting pretty at $4.358 trillion. It’s the third-highest sequential increase among the nation’s 50 largest banks, with a growth rate of 8.9%. Who knew banking could be so… muscular?

Citigroup Inc. didn’t want to be left behind, posting a second-highest sequential growth at 9.3%, or an increase of $218.57 billion. I guess they decided to join the gym too!

Meanwhile, Bank of America Corp. managed a modest asset growth of 2.7%, while Wells Fargo & Co. limped along with a 1.1% increase. Slow and steady wins the race, right? Or maybe they just forgot to show up for leg day.

But wait, there’s more! Just when you thought it was all sunshine and rainbows, Moody’s swoops in like a rain cloud at a picnic. They downgraded the deposit ratings of our top three banks—JPMorgan Chase, Bank of America, and Wells Fargo—earlier this week. Apparently, the government’s ability to support these financial giants is looking a bit shaky. Who knew that a little thing like a $31 trillion national debt could rain on their parade?

Last week, Moody’s also downgraded America’s credit rating from AAA to Aa1, changing the outlook from negative to stable. It’s like getting a participation trophy for being the best of the worst. Thanks, Moody’s! 🎉

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2025-05-23 12:23