You Won’t Believe What Didn’t Happen: The XRP ETF That Never Was

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Last week, cryptocurrency dreamers gazed at their screens as a wistful spring fog drifted—rumors, delicate as early morning mist, of ProShares unveiling XRP ETFs on April 30. Telegram channels buzzed like beehives, coin flips decided fates, and yet, the truth was as absent as a Moscow sunbeam in October.

Enter James Seyffart, that esteemed observer of the ETF ballet, who appeared with all the subtlety of spring thaw to tell the faithful: not today, comrades, not today. To the tempest of speculation, he brought a tepid cup of official tea: no launches, no date, no hope—yet, anyway.

ProShares: Neither Here Nor There, Not April 30 Nor Any Day (For Now)

When pressed, ProShares’ nameless emissary, who answers questions like a faded poet at a dacha, issued this immortal line: “No ETF launches planned for Wednesday, April 30.” The company offered no prophecy nor poetry about the future, confining themselves to the present’s desolate, bureaucratic truth: nothing more at this hour, товарищи.

UPDATE: many voices cried out, certain @ProShares would launch XRP ETFs April 30. We have looked, and there is nothing there. No date floats to the surface yet—but perhaps, in the fullness of time’s river, the launch will emerge—short or medium term, which is ETF time for “soon, but maybe never”. 😉

— James Seyffart (@JSeyff) April 28, 2025

Is this what hope looks like, or just another meme adrift on the information steppes?

The origin of this feverish optimism? An April 15 regulatory filing, mistaken for heralding new life rather than being yet another relic of paperwork, not unlike the yellowing manuscripts on a shelf in a Zhivago estate.

You may have glimpsed headlines: ProShares, XRP, salvation arriving this week.

But I, humble chronicler, depart from the pageantry:

“ProShares does not have any ETF launches scheduled for Wednesday, April 30. We have no further news to share at this time.” (The trembling ellipsis! The eternal wait!)

— Ben Strack (@strack_ben) April 28, 2025

XRP itself, in the existential stillness that follows every rumor, sits idle at $2.28—a small rise, a tiny sigh above its daily valley. The market cap stretches itself by almost a percent ($133.8 billion); trading volume stirs impatiently (+27% to $4.51 billion). The wind blows, but the river hardly moves.

Futures: The Shadow of a Coin, Not the Thing Itself

Nate Geraci, lost in reflection as spring rain pecks at the windowpane, explains: these ETFs will cradle no actual XRP, only futures contracts—phantoms reflecting the price. Investors are offered not the fruit, but the scent of an orchard, carried on the breeze.

He foretells leveraged and inverse versions (because why lose money slowly, when you could do it with style? 😏). Last month, Teucrium’s 2x Long XRP ETF (XXRP) appeared—promising double the heartbreak or the joy, depending where the coin falls. The XXRP fund, perhaps an epic poem of risk, currently holds $42.70 million in assets.

The SEC: Timeless Gatekeeper or Napping on the Job?

Meanwhile, the SEC gazes at the horizon, waiting for inspiration or, perhaps, a thunderstorm. Spot Ripple ETF proposals by Grayscale, Bitwise, and Franklin Templeton sit unused like typewriters after the revolution.

Analysts grumble in their samovars—why are futures products somehow more comforting to the regulators than the unequivocal, dangerous truth of “spot”? Legal sages suggest: spot ETFs are run through risk sieves so fine, nothing glorious emerges.

Odds and Ends (and Odds)

Prediction markets mutter: the odds of a Ripple ETF blessing this year tick up 8% to a glowing, but somehow meaningless, 78%. The speculation continues—a Pushkin novel without an ending. What joy, to forever anticipate and never arrive! 🕰️

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2025-04-30 12:21