🔍 Lawyer Hunts Satoshi: Ripple CTO’s Hilarious Response Will Make Your Bitcoin Cry! 🤣

by

Oh. My. God. You guys! The crypto world is doing that thing again where they’re playing “Who’s Satoshi?” like it’s some weird version of “Where’s Waldo?” but with way more blockchain and way less striped sweaters. 🕵️‍♂️

So this lawyer guy, James Murphy (aka MetaLawMan – because apparently regular law people names aren’t fancy enough anymore 🙄), is all “I’m gonna sue the Department of Homeland Security!” Like, honey, there are easier ways to get attention on Twitter, just saying. 💁‍♀️

He’s convinced that somewhere in their filing cabinets, between confiscated nail clippers and suspicious water bottles, lies the secret identity of Bitcoin‘s creator. I mean, sure Jan. 📚

— David “JoelKatz” Schwartz (@JoelKatz) April 8, 2025

And because crypto Twitter has the attention span of a caffeinated squirrel, they’ve now decided Ripple‘s CTO David Schwartz might be Satoshi. I can’t even. Like, what’s next? Is my cat secretly running Ethereum? 🐱

I mean, yes, Schwartz is basically the Elle Woods of cryptography – he’s smart, he’s accomplished, and he probably knows how to make blockchain do the bend and snap. But Satoshi? Please. 💅

Some genius on Twitter was like “If you’re Satoshi, maybe grab the money and run?” And Schwartz responded with a South Park GIF about money being gone. Which is exactly what Satoshi would say… or not say… or whatever. I need a drink. 🍷

For the record, Schwartz has been saying he didn’t even know about Bitcoin until 2011, which is like showing up to the party after all the good snacks are gone. But sure, let’s keep playing crypto detective because apparently we have nothing better to do. 🕵️‍♀️

Look, this Satoshi mystery is like the crypto version of “The Bachelor” – it never really ends, we’re all tired of it, but we can’t stop watching. Now, where’s my pizza? 🍕

Read More

2025-04-08 18:19