In the grand tradition of the Master and Margarita, where cats discuss politics and vodka flows like truth from the lips of a sage, we find ourselves in the peculiar world of digital assets, where the currency is as intangible as the promises of a politician.
Enter Brad Garlinghouse, the CEO of Ripple Labs, a man with the audacity to believe that XRP, the cryptocurrency as mysterious and volatile as a love potion from a Bulgakovian witch, will find its place in the hallowed halls of the US Digital Asset Stockpile. In a recent interview with Bloomberg, a publication as reputable as the newspapers that once reported on the antics of a certain talking cat, Garlinghouse shared his vision, as bold as the mustache of a Soviet general.
Ah, the Digital Asset Stockpile, a creation as American as apple pie and as enigmatic as the recipe for Soviet lemonade. Trump, the man who once held the nuclear codes and the attention of the Twitterverse, signed an executive order in March, a decree as significant as the edicts of the Tsars, to birth this stockpile into existence, along with a Strategic Bitcoin Reserve. While XRP was not explicitly mentioned, a post on Truth Social, a platform as divisive as the opinions on whether vodka should be served with ice, hinted at its inclusion.
Garlinghouse, with the confidence of a man who has dined with the devil and lived to tell the tale, expects XRP to join this illustrious stockpile. After all, Trump has publicly endorsed it, and even graced the White House Crypto Summit with his presence, an event as surreal as a midnight meeting in Patriarch’s Ponds.
The CEO muses that the US might acquire XRP for the stockpile through seized property, a plan as cunning as a fox that has mastered the art of human speech. And what of the XRP ETFs, you ask? Garlinghouse, with the foresight of a prophet, predicts their approval by the SEC by the second half of 2025. Applications from the likes of Bitwise and Franklin Templeton are piling up like winter snow in Moscow, and the co-founder is as sure of their approval as he is of the healing powers of a good borscht.
Institutional investors, those giants of finance who once scoffed at cryptocurrency as they would at a flying pig, are now showing interest in the digital coin. Regulators, those modern-day inquisitors, are crafting policies as supportive of XRP as Bulgakov was of Stalin’s regime (on the surface, at least). The anticipation for XRP’s next move is as palpable as the tension in a room where a deal with the devil is about to be struck.
So, dear reader, as we stand on the precipice of this financial fantasy, let us raise a glass of the clearest vodka to the future of XRP. May it be as bright and as full of surprises as a Bulgakovian novel. 🥂💸📚
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2025-03-20 09:25