🤑 6 Million People Can’t Be Wrong: My Love Affair with a Cryptocurrency Gone Wild

by

Oh honey, let me tell you about my latest obsession: XRP. It’s like that time my sister Amy started collecting Beanie Babies, except these digital tokens won’t end up in a box in our parents’ basement making Dad curse every time he trips over them. 🙄

So get this – over 6 MILLION addresses are now hodling XRP (that’s crypto-speak for “hoarding” but with more desperation and fewer cats). I mean, that’s more people than who’ve read my books, which is simultaneously depressing and fascinating. 📚

The price recently took a nosedive faster than my father’s mood when I tell him I’m writing about him again, but It’s like watching a Black Friday sale where everyone’s fighting over digital tokens instead of discounted toasters. 🏃‍♂️

Hugh says I should diversify my portfolio, but I told him I’m already diverse enough being a gay American living in England writing about my Greek boyfriend. Besides, the trading volume hit $21.62 billion, which is approximately how much I spent on cigarettes before quitting. 💸

They’ve even launched something called a “2x leveraged ETF,” which sounds about as safe as my mother’s driving. But apparently, it’s doing better than Solana’s ETF, which is like saying your performance art piece got more attention than the guy juggling flaming chainsaws in the park. 🎭

The price is currently at $1.77, which reminds me of the year I tried to convince my family I was a Christmas elf. Both situations involved a lot of hope and eventual disappointment. But hey, at least with XRP, there’s a chance of recovery. My family still brings up the elf incident at Thanksgiving. 🎄

And if you’re wondering whether to invest, just remember: 6 million people can’t be wrong. Though that’s what they said about mullets in the 80s, so maybe take my advice with a grain of salt. Or better yet, a whole margarita. 🍸

Read More

2025-04-09 15:58