4,812 BTC Bought Like It’s Avocados: Tether’s Wild Shopping Spree Shocks Crypto Bros

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So, guess who’s back in the bear-pit of Bitcoin drama? It’s Tether-backed Bitcoin
bitcoin gif
BTC
$96 611

24h volatility: 2.1% (for those who love their heart rate on hard mode)
Market cap: $1.92 T (which, coincidentally, is how much you need to buy a flat in central London)
Vol. 24h: $29.09 B (no big deal, just the GDP of a small country)

Enter: Twenty One Capital. They’ve just bought 4,812 BTC. Why? Because apparently, there are only two states of being in crypto: broke or YOLO. That’s $458.7 million, if you’re counting (and, trust me, somewhere a spreadsheet is weeping).
Naturally, this is all part of a swanky private investment in public equity (PIPE) deal with Cantor Equity Partners, because saying “investment” in crypto without jargon is strictly forbidden.

According to a recent SEC filing (dated May 13, for my fellow nerds), Twenty One Capital now owns 36,312 BTC, but—wait for it—31,500 of them are basically on playdate at Cantor Equity Partners, who are ‘holding them in custody’. Sure. Definitely not, like, hiding your friend’s weed for them.

And the timing? Oh, you thought they just wake up and throw money at digital coins for fun? Actually, yes. But also: Bitcoin is on a heater. It grazed $105,000—because heaven forbid it lets you relax—and is sniffing around its all-time high like a dog that’s just spotted someone sneaking snacks in the kitchen.

Meanwhile, the macro backdrop is suddenly getting cute again: CPI data came in all low and adorable, and retail investors (the crypto equivalent of the sugar-high children’s soccer team) are back, wallets at the ready.

Retail buys—transactions under $10K, a.k.a. “normal people money”—spiked 3.4% between April 28 and May 13. A CryptoQuant analyst says this fresh batch of FOMO could turn into “sustained bullishness”, or, y’know, another round of frantic group DMs about margin calls.

Bitcoin (BTC) Price Outlook

So, let’s talk numbers. As of May 14, Bitcoin bashed its head on the $105,000 ceiling, then did what we all do after a big night out: staggered home, now lolling around $104,000. Still up 7.5% in 24 hours, which, in crypto, is just enough to buy avocado toast for everyone at brunch.

BTC price chart
BTC price chart with RSI and Bollinger Bands | Source: TradingView (because #charts or it didn’t happen)

The RSI is currently sitting at 69.42. This is, irritatingly, not a joke—just a sign we’re almost overbought. So, yes, bullish vibes, but also possibly about to fall over. If BTC vaults $106,500 and holds, the bulls will be insufferable; if not, cue dramatic tweets and sudden “life sabbaticals”.

The Bollinger Bands? Aggressively “widening”, like my waistband at Christmas. Price candles grinding the upper band is a classic “don’t touch the oven it’s hot” situation. If we revisit the mid-band at $98,200, expect sideways crab-walking, or, if you’re dramatic, a nosedive to $89,900 support—where, coincidentally, my will to continue watching does not exist.

Note: this is a sponsored message from our partners. No, I don’t get a cut. Yet.

🔥 Meme Coin Mania: Bitcoin Bull Charging While BTC Eyes $105K

Tired of serious money? Enter Bitcoin Bull—the meme coin with the subtlety of a marching band. Their pitch: cling to Bitcoin’s bullish tail and enjoy the ride, preferably screaming.

BTCBULL: The “Yes, This Is Real” Tokenomics

The ecosystem’s native coin, BTCBULL, is selling itself on milestone-based rewards. Every $25,000 rise in Bitcoin (from $100K to $250K) means prizes for holders—deflationary burns, Bitcoin airdrops, and the eternally useful dopamine hit.

If—sorry, when—Bitcoin hits $250,000, there’ll be a “grand airdrop”, which smells suspiciously like a party bag for anyone still holding. Synergy, eh?

  • Current Price: $0.00251
  • Funds Raised: $5.7 million (because meme coins can do that now)
  • Ticker: BTCBULL
  • Payment Options: ETH, USDT (you know, the classics)

$5.7 million down, $6.69 million target. Apparently, value could rise in less than a day—because suspense is for people who like slow romance novels. Betting on Bitcoin’s next moon shot? Go wild. If you lose it all, don’t @ me.🏃‍♀️💸

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2025-05-14 20:31