Crypto’s Got Talent! 😲🤯

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Bitcoin (BTC), the digital equivalent of a grumpy old troll guarding a bridge, managed to claw its way back from a low of $94,106 on Wednesday, reaching a respectable $96,628. Of course, this is still far from the lofty heights of $100,000, which BTC seems to be treating like a mythical land of milk and honey. The inflation data, however, did little to brighten the mood, revealing a level of price creep that would make even a goblin blush. BTC is now facing a significant headwind, trying to navigate this turbulent market with the grace of a drunk dwarf trying to juggle anvils. 😂

But fear not, dear reader, for the crypto market, much like a drunken gnome at a festival, has a penchant for bouncing back. Following a round of negotiation calls between Donald Trump, Vladimir Putin, and Volodymyr Zelenskyy, the market experienced a mild, if somewhat unexpected, recovery. Ethereum (ETH) reclaimed the $2,700 level, making a valiant attempt to reach $2,800. Meanwhile, Ripple (XRP) continued its steady climb, up nearly 3% and trading around $2.47. Solana (SOL) struggled to regain its footing at $200, while Dogecoin (DOGE) showed surprising resilience, gaining almost 4% and trading at $0.262. Other altcoins, like Cardano (ADA), Chainlink (LINK), and Tron (TRX), also enjoyed a surge in their fortunes. The crypto market cap, now at a robust $3.22 trillion, seemed to be celebrating this mini-renaissance with a joyous jig. 🥳

What Happened To Altcoin Season?

Bybit and Block Scholes, a research firm seemingly fond of puns, published a report exploring the elusive altcoin season. They discovered that while previous cycles saw altcoins skyrocket thanks to the influx of capital from Bitcoin (BTC), this cycle has been surprisingly tame. Despite BTC’s impressive surge past $100,000, the expected altcoin frenzy hasn’t materialized. It’s like a particularly uninspired party where everyone is just standing around, awkwardly munching on cheese and crackers. 🧀

The report cites several factors that have put a damper on altcoin enthusiasm. First, the halving event, typically a trigger for a dip in BTC dominance, hasn’t materialized. BTC remains remarkably dominant, despite its price struggles, suggesting investors are still clinging to the safety of the flagship currency like a troll clinging to his treasure hoard. Second, altcoins haven’t been experiencing the kind of explosive growth seen in previous cycles. It’s like the fireworks display was cancelled because the goblins forgot to order the gunpowder. 🎇

“Since 2022, Ethereum has underperformed not only Bitcoin but also several competing “Ethereum Killers,” such as Solana (SOL) and Sui (SUI. This relative underperformance has raised doubts about Ethereum’s capacity to lead the market into a new alt season.”

The report concludes that a number of factors, including the arrival of spot Bitcoin ETFs and institutional adoption of BTC, have led to investors being reluctant to rotate capital into smaller tokens. It seems that the market is caught in a holding pattern, like a goblin who has misplaced his treasure map and is now just staring at a blank wall, wondering what to do next. 🤔

Coinbase Benefits From Strong Tailwinds

Coinbase, the cryptocurrency exchange that’s like a bustling troll market, is predicted to report a Q4 revenue of $1.9 billion, according to H.C. Wainwright & Co. analyst Mike Colonnese. This would be a delightful surprise, exceeding the Street’s consensus estimate of $1.8 billion. Colonnese attributes this unexpected surge to strong tailwinds, fueled by Bitcoin’s historic climb past $90,000 and $100,000. Even the goblins were impressed by this feat. It seems that investors are still bullish on the crypto market, even if they’re a bit wary about investing in anything too risky. 🤑

Coinbase, with its reputation for agility and adaptability, is expected to capitalize on this momentum, generating an estimated revenue of $7.25 billion by 2025, well above previous estimates. It’s like a gnome who found a

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2025-02-13 18:14