Is Michael Saylor the Bitcoin Wizard? You Won’t Believe His $2B Plan! 💰✨

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Well, folks, hold onto your wallets because Strategy, the business whiz kids and Bitcoin hoarders, are on a mission to raise a whopping $2 billion! And how, you ask? Through 0% senior convertible notes! Sounds fancy, right? It’s like saying, “Hey, I’m not just broke, I’m *fancy* broke!” 💸

Strategy Announces Proposed Private Offering of $2.0B of Convertible Senior Notes. $MSTR

— Michael Saylor⚡️ (@saylor) February 18, 2025

Now, let’s break this down: senior convertible notes are like the VIP section of debt instruments. They come with a shiny badge that says, “I get to convert my debt into equity, and I’m more important than you common stock folks!” It’s like being the prom king at a bankruptcy party! 🎉

This whole funding shindig is part of MicroStrategy’s grand 21/21 Plan, which sounds like a diet plan but is actually about gobbling up $42 billion worth of Bitcoin in the next three years. Since their last announcement, they’ve snagged 200,000 Bitcoins, bringing their total to a staggering 478,740! That’s right, they’re the world’s largest corporate Bitcoin hoarder! Move over, Scrooge McDuck! 🦆💰

These notes are set to mature on March 1, 2030, but don’t worry, the company can buy them back whenever they feel like it—like a kid returning a toy they got bored of! And guess what? After this announcement, MicroStrategy’s stock took a little tumble—down 1%! But hey, it’s still up 372% over the past year! Talk about a rollercoaster ride! 🎢

Oh, and let’s not forget their Q4 report, which revealed a net loss of $670.8 million. That’s right, folks! The market is as stable as a one-legged man in a butt-kicking contest! 🤪

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2025-02-19 08:05