Why Your Crypto Wallet Might Secretly Hate You 🤯

Oh, Trezor. You tried. You really did. But according to Ledger, your hardware wallets are still basically the cryptographic equivalent of wearing flip-flops to a marathon. Comfortable? Sure. Secure? Eh, not so much. 💳👉💨

To be fair, Trezor’s latest Safe models are rocking some fancy new security features. We’re talking dual chips and something called a Secure Element that sounds like it belongs in a Marvel movie. But apparently, all this high-tech pizzazz still doesn’t prevent attacks on the microcontroller—because hackers, like cockroaches, always find a way. 🪳🔓

If you thought your crypto wallet was the Fort Knox of Bitcoin, think again. Ledger Donjon—Ledger’s research gang of cryptographic nerds—just went full Sherlock Holmes on their rival and discovered that Trezor’s shiny new Safe devices are vulnerable to a little something called “voltage glitching.” And no, that’s not the latest dance craze on TikTok. 🚨💃

“The microcontroller used is labeled TRZ32F429 – this is actually a STM32F429 chip packaged into a BGA with custom markings. In spite of the Trezor-specific package however, it is really electrically the same as a STM32F429, and this chip’s family is known to be vulnerable to voltage glitching, enabling read and write access to its flash contents.”

— Ledger, aka Buzz Killington

Translation: hackers can get access to your wallet like it’s grandma’s candy jar, just with fewer Werther’s Originals and more crypto secrets. 🍬🙅‍♀️

Sure, Trezor’s got some barriers in place to thwart tampering, but Ledger basically shrugged and said, “Meh, with enough time and effort, hackers will still get their hands on your crypto stash.” And the wild part? This attack can apparently pull a *ninja move*—all software, zero red flags you can visually spot. 🥷📱

But don’t start sobbing into your Bitcoin just yet. Ledger concedes that Trezor’s Safe devices are an improvement over older models. It’s like upgrading your medieval castle’s defenses with a moat—but forgetting the drawbridge. Progress, but not perfection. 🏰🐨

Meanwhile, Trezor is out here trying to calm its users on X (formerly Twitter, for people who unplugged during Elon’s antics), saying, “Relax, we’ve got this.” They even pointed out that Ledger had recycled an old attack method to bypass their new countermeasures. Recycling: good for the planet, less good for bragging rights. #SassyCrypto 🗨️♻️

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2025-03-13 11:59