In the grand theater of American politics, where the absurd often masquerades as the sublime, one Congressman, Byron Donalds, has taken it upon himself to pen a bill of such monumental importance that it could very well be the stuff of legends—or at least a good laugh. This bill, dear reader, seeks to enshrine President Donald Trump’s executive order regarding a strategic Bitcoin reserve into the annals of unchangeable law, as if it were a sacred text carved in stone! 🪨
According to the illustrious scribes at Bloomberg, this bill is not merely a piece of paper; it is a veritable fortress against the whims of future presidents who might dare to challenge the sanctity of our national Bitcoin (BTC) reserve. Yes, you heard it right! A national reserve of Bitcoin, as if we were hoarding gold doubloons in a pirate’s chest! 🏴☠️
“For years, the Democrats waged war on crypto,” proclaimed the valiant Donalds, brandishing his metaphorical sword. “Now is the time for Congressional Republicans to decisively end this war!” One can only imagine the dramatic reenactments of this war in the hallowed halls of Congress, complete with cannon fire and the clashing of swords—oh, the spectacle! 🎭
But let us not forget the practicalities! To see this bill through, it would require a Herculean effort of 60 votes from the Senate and a majority from the House of Representatives. A task akin to herding cats, one might say! 🐱
What does the Bitcoin Reserve executive order entail?
Ah, the executive order! It mandates the creation of a Bitcoin reserve, alongside a digital asset stockpile that includes such illustrious tokens as XRP, SOL, and ADA. One can only wonder if these tokens have their own fan clubs! The reserve, it seems, will be filled with BTC seized from the clutches of criminals—because nothing says “patriotism” quite like confiscating digital currency! 💼
Moreover, the order empowers the Treasury and Commerce Departments to devise “budget-neutral strategies” for acquiring more Bitcoin. A clever ruse, indeed, to avoid using the taxpayers’ hard-earned dollars! And let us not forget the prohibition on selling any Bitcoin from this reserve, as if it were a sacred relic not to be touched by mortal hands! 🙅♂️
AI and crypto czar David Sacks has estimated that the U.S. government currently holds a staggering 200,000 BTC. However, the exact amount remains shrouded in mystery, as this treasure trove has never been subjected to a full audit. Perhaps it is hidden beneath the floorboards of Congress, waiting for the right moment to be revealed! 🕵️♂️
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2025-03-14 15:04