You Won’t Believe Who Got Pardoned and When FTX Will Finally Pay Up! đŸ˜±đŸ’°

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So, let me set the scene for you. This past weekend was *so* packed with drama, like a reality show we didn’t sign up for. FTX decided to play a game of “let’s make our creditors wait!” They’re eyeing 2025 to start dolling out some love, and they’ve somehow amassed a treasure trove of $11.4 billion. I mean, it’s like they found a forgotten piggy bank under a couch or something. đŸ·đŸ’ž

Oh, and did I mention Arthur Hayes, the former CEO of BitMEX, got himself a pardon from President Trump? It’s like a ‘get out of jail free’ card, but without the monopoly board. Sorry, Sam Bankman-Fried—good luck with that jailhouse interview. 🙄

FTX’s Shocking Comeback Plan: Paying Creditors by 2025 💔

Here’s the lowdown: FTX, which was once the glittering crown of the crypto world, is trying to crawl out of its own ridiculously deep grave. Fast forward two and a half years post-collapse, and they’ve finally managed to scrape together enough cash to sprinkle around to major creditors. But, spoiler alert, it’s not happening until May 30, 2025. Think of it like waiting for a new season of your favorite show. So much anticipation for the same old mess! 📅

The sweet irony? Those who had smaller claims have already started seeing their checks (they must be feeling like winners at a weird lottery). Yet, for those with huge claims, it’s like watching paint dry for the next few years. But hey, at least they might get back 118-119% of what they lost, provided the crypto gods smile down on them. 🙏

And let’s not forget—the payout’s based on crypto values from November 2022. So if you’ve been going crypto shopping and Bitcoin is now rocking it, guess who’s not having a great day? Yup, that’s right—those creditors. 😬

Arthur Hayes: The Pardon Saga Continues! 🎭

In other news, Arthur Hayes and his merry band of BitMEX leaders are now free as birds, thanks to a pardon from Trump. Seems like the Justice Department really wanted to nail them for some ‘whoopsies’ with customer identifications—basically, they were letting people trade like it was a digital speakeasy. 🍾

All guilty pleas and probation aside, it feels a bit like a superhero movie—just when you think they’re defeated, bam! They get pardoned. Meanwhile, FTX drama still unfolds like a slow tragedy. Cheers to the wild ride of crypto chaos! đŸ„‚

By the way, I can’t help but imagine what it would be like if Sam Bankman-Fried united with the pardoned crew for, like, a *very* awkward dinner party. 😂 Just imagine the conversations! Oh, and don’t forget—if your crypto dreams turn into a nightmare, just look at Arthur and Sam for a bit of misguided inspiration. They’ve got stories to tell!

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2025-03-31 21:12