Whale of a Time: Dogecoin Drama Leaves Investors in Splashes of Tears! 🐕💰

Quick as a Wink:

  • Bigwig investors just unceremoniously tossed aside nearly $200 million worth of the floppy-eared DOGE in the blink of an eye.
  • This cheeky move might send shivers down the spines of the little guys, sending them scurrying just as prices tumble like a clumsy walrus on a trampoline.

Whales Are Making a Splash

In the latest extravaganza of the cryptocurrency circus, our beloved Dogecoin took a ride down the rollercoaster of doom, plummeting to a wobbly low of $0.13! Oh dear, that was the lowest it had been since October 2024—practically a record for falling flat on its furry face! But hold the phone! In a quick act of theatre, the meme coin managed a laughable little bounce and struts about at about $0.14 (according to CoinGecko’s fanciful numbers), which is a fabulous 16% dip in a week — sounds like a horror flick, doesn’t it?

Meanwhile, in a dramatic twist of fate, our glorious big investors dumped a staggering 1.32 billion DOGE tokens—goodness gracious, that’s over $190 million flopping about! Talk about a splendid spectacle of cash flying left and right!

Ali Martinez, the star of our show, reveals that these “whales” — those hefty holders of million-token treasures — now clutch a whopping 70.5 billion DOGE, or approximately 47% of the whole furry supply. Imagine a giant dog park with only a handful of chubby puppies!

But beware! This grand sell-off adds to the dangling tokens in circulation, which could dash our dreams of a price recovery if nobody wants them. And oh, the chaos! If panic spreads quicker than a cat in a room full of rocking chairs, little investors might join the fray and sell their tiny bones too, making the price tumble even further.

The DOGE ETP Disappointment

Earlier today, in the tale of woe, the illustrious issuer of crypto-themed magic tricks—21Shares—dropped a Dogecoin ETP like a hot potato on the SIX Swiss Exchange (ticker: DOGE, obviously). This enchanted financial contraption arrived thanks to an oh-so-exclusive deal with the grand House of Doge!

With much fanfare, the gang behind it claimed that the 21Shares Dogecoin ETP is “100% physically backed”—just the way we like our doggies! It promises a “transparent and seamless way” for curious investors to dip their toes into the shimmering waters of the cryptocurrency pool.

Yet, in a twist worthy of a poorly-timed slapstick comedy, DOGE barely blinked, remaining in the dreadful depths of despair. Perhaps a splashy launch of a spot Dogecoin ETF is what we really need to lift spirits! Well, fingers crossed that Bitwise and Grayscale can whip something together. According to Polymarket, there’s a tantalizing 64% chance of approval by the end of 2025—let’s just keep those fingers crossed and wait for more delightful mess, shall we?

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2025-04-10 09:40