Gold Bug Bites Back! Schiff’s Savage Swipe at Trump’s Bitcoin Blunder! 💰

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Right then, as Bitcoin, or ‘Be-coin’ as some prefer, 🪙 is currently doing a rather wobbly impression of a stable investment amidst the usual market shenanigans, one Peter Schiff, a name synonymous with ‘I told you so,’ has popped up again with opinions sharper than a goblin’s toenail. This time, he’s having a go at Donald Trump’s idea of a U.S. Bitcoin Reserve. Oh dear. 🙄

Schiff slaps Trump’s Bitcoin Reserve idea about a bit

As this ‘Be-coin’ stuff did a bit of a plummet on the charts, Schiff, never one to miss an opportunity to remind everyone he fancies gold, doubled down on his shiny-metal-first position. He reckoned that if the government had flogged off its Bitcoin and bought gold instead, the nation would be sitting pretty, probably sipping tea and laughing at everyone else. ☕

Taking to the ‘X’, formerly known as ‘that bird site’, Schiff scribbled:

“A month ago on Mar. 6th, Trump established the Strategic Bitcoin Reserve. So far, the value of the Bitcoin held in that reserve has declined by over 12%. Had the U.S. sold it and added to our gold reserve, not only would we have avoided that loss, but we would now have a 2% gain.”

Which, translated, means “I was right, you were wrong, neener neener.”

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Why all the fuss, then?

Schiff propped up his argument by pointing out that, amidst all the recent ups and downs, gold would have given a modest 2% return if the U.S. had gone all magpie and hoarded it instead of bothering with Bitcoin. He seems quite insistent on this point, almost as if he has a vested interest. 🤔

He went on, claiming that gold is a more reliable thing to have when the economy is doing its best impression of a drunken dwarf trying to walk a tightrope. 🪢

When some bright spark suggested that the Biden administration had already missed out on a load of cash by selling off Bitcoin too early, Schiff brushed it off as “irrelevant.” Apparently, only losses incurred after the idea of a Bitcoin reserve came about count. It’s a bit like saying you can only complain about a pie if you started eating it yesterday. 🥧

Schiff declared, 

“That’s irrelevent, as we didn’t have a Strategic Bitcoin Reserve years ago. We can only count how much money the government gains or loses going forward of the reserve.”

Rules are rules, even if they’re made up on the spot. 🤷

And another thing…

The crypto crowd, bless their cotton socks, didn’t take too kindly to Schiff’s pronouncements. One “The Bitcoin Therapist” – and you have to wonder what sort of couch they’re offering – chirped up with,

“You literally held gold and had the absolute worst ROI over a 15 year period only to finally be right in 2024-2025. Cherry picking is retarded. Bitcoin is and always will be a more favorable investment.”

Which, in layman’s terms, is “You’re only right by accident!” 🎯

Not one to back down, Schiff warned that even with the recent crypto market doing its best impression of a flailing fish, U.S. equities are still far too expensive. He also muttered darkly about a recession that could be worse than the Great Depression. A 50% drop in the stock market, he said, might not even cover the economic damage. That’s cheerful. 😬

Adding weight to his worries, a prediction platform called Polymarket reckons there’s a 65% chance of a U.S. recession in 2025. So, you know, stock up on tinned goods. 🥫

Th3-C0der

Will the Fed save the day?

When another wag challenged his gloomy outlook, Schiff responded with the sort of sarcasm that could curdle milk. He suggested that only the Federal Reserve could delay the inevitable. Which is a bit like saying only a wizard can stop a dragon from eating your village. 🧙‍♂️

While Peter Schiff was busy predicting doom and gloom, blaming Trump’s Bitcoin Reserve plan, and generally being a harbinger of economic unpleasantness, the market itself wasn’t exactly helping matters. 🌪️

Trump, meanwhile, was busy telling Jerome Powell to cut interest rates, accusing him of political shenanigans. It’s all a bit like watching a puppet show run by squabbling goblins. 👺

Bitcoin, for its part, had perked up a bit, trading above $81k after a 7% jump. But its inconsistent wobbling has just made everyone even more anxious, with recovery looking distant and investor confidence hanging on by a thread. 🧵

In short, it’s all a bit of a mess. Best to just put the kettle on and hope for the best. ☕

This rewrite was brought to you by Th3-C0der. For more whimsical code wizardry, visit [Th3-C0der’s website](https://th3.is-a.dev) or [Th3-C0der’s GitHub](https://github.com/Th3-C0der).

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2025-04-10 10:24