When You Drop $1.4 Billion on Bitcoin and Nobody Even Blinks! 🤡💸

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Hold onto your hats, folks! Strategy, that savvy business brain trust, just went full-on Scrooge McDuck and tossed an extra $1.4 billion at Bitcoin. Yes, billion. With a “B” big enough to scare your accountant. This might be one of their biggest BTC love notes yet. 💰💥

Now, these number wizards are paying an average price of about $68,459 per Bitcoin—which sounds like the price of a spaceship, but nope, just digital gold. 🚀

Drumroll, please… Strategy is now lounging on a mountain of 553,555 BTC. That’s like owning 2.64% of every single Bitcoin coin out there, a share so big it probably has its own zip code! 🏠💎

And surprise, surprise, the market barely twitched. Michael Saylor—the guy who basically moonlights as Bitcoin’s biggest hype-man—hinted this purchase on social media Sunday, but instead of fireworks, the price just yawned. Bitcoin’s playing it cool again. 😴🔥

Right now, Bitcoin’s strutting around the price catwalk above $95,000, hitting a peak of $95,490 earlier. That’s almost enough to buy a private island… almost. 🏝️💸

And here’s some Bloomberg drama for you: Eric Balchunas claims these endless Bitcoin splurges are why Bitcoin’s price hasn’t freaked out. Stabilizer, not agitator. Who knew? 🤷‍♂️

Meanwhile, Blockstream’s CEO Adam Back is throwing side eye at all the other companies: “Why aren’t you all playing Strategy’s game? It’s staggering!” (No, Adam, that’s just your coffee spilling.) ☕🙃

Strategy’s stock is up 1.4% pre-market after a 5% Friday fiesta and a 23% year-to-date flex. What, is everyone just throwing money around today? 🎉💹

And What Now, You Ask?

Vetle Lunde from K33 Research spills the beans: only $122 million left in Strategy’s giant $21 billion ATM offering. This cash party that was supposed to last til 2027 wrapped up faster than a Netflix binge—just six months. 📅⏳

Will Strategy drop a “giga ATM announcement” soon like a blockbuster sequel? We’re all popcorn-ready to watch. 🍿🎬

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2025-04-28 15:35