New Hampshire’s Bold Bitcoin Move: You Won’t Believe What Their Treasury Just Did!

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Somewhere in New Hampshire, in a room slightly more modern than Chekhov’s beloved cherry orchard, a government clerk (after sighing about the state of his samovar) put pen to paper—and a bit of the 21st century crept in through the parlour window. Like a cat climbing in to steal the last warm kolach, bitcoin has arrived in public finance. 💸🫖

On the Edge of Modernity: The State Treasurer’s New Plaything

Rarely does anything of note happen in New Hampshire—that is, unless you count discussions on the weather, sheep, and the untimely decline of morals. Yet today, the state found itself not just talking about the future, but signing it into law with an ink-stained flourish worthy of a minor Russian aristocrat. House Bill 302, more contemporary than a three-day-old samovar, is signed: now, the state may invest in that most elusive of modern balalaikas—bitcoin.

As if the ghosts of old bureaucrats weren’t quite restless enough, the model comes courtesy of a nonprofit called Satoshi Action Fund. Apparently, protecting taxpayer money is taken very seriously, though not, it seems, as seriously as their fondness for acronyms and five percent limits—after all, everything in moderation, including digital revolutions. The governor, Kelly Ayotte, declared on X (a platform known for short attention spans and even shorter tempers):

New Hampshire is once again first in the nation! Just signed a new law allowing our state to invest in cryptocurrency and precious metals.

The treasurer, permitted now to chase after assets with market caps over $500 billion (which, in Chekhov’s time, would have bought a decent estate, three vineyards, and nine melancholy uncles), turns on his heels toward bitcoin, the only guest who’s turned up at the party. Satoshi Action CEO Dennis Porter proclaimed:

“Satoshi Action drafted the model, New Hampshire engraved it into law, and now every treasurer nationwide can follow that roadmap.” Had Chekhov written this, he’d have mentioned the dusty roadmap found under a pile of Tolstoy novels, inscribed, of course, with sorrow and good intentions.

Yet, there’s talk of taxpayer protection, diversification, and future-proofing—though rumor has it even the cherry orchard was once thought future-proof until the railroad came by. New Hampshire didn’t just pass a bill, Porter claims—they “sparked a movement.” (Somewhere, a government goat is unimpressed.)

Supporters, including the state’s House Republicans, predictably took to X to declare:

New Hampshire is officially the first state to lay the groundwork for a strategic bitcoin reserve. The Live Free or Die state is leading the way in forging the future of commerce and digital assets.

Sixty days hence, the law takes effect—so there’s still time for a nervous tea. Skeptics mutter about bitcoin’s volatility, but surely, isn’t uncertainty the only true certainty? Meanwhile, Arizona has vetoed a similar bill, preferring the comfort of uncertainty without the digital perfume.

So, dear reader, as New Hampshire’s treasury gently hums to the tune of “innovation,” remember: even in Chekhov’s day, romancing the future was a risky business—though now, perhaps, a bit more virtual.

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2025-05-06 21:39