Economists Are Swooning: Why Bitcoin Might Be Laughing at a $2.5 Trillion Deficit

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Somewhere in the echoing halls of fiscal melodrama, Spencer Hakimian—Tolou Capital Management’s troubadour of arithmetic—has announced the Republicans’ latest tax-cut extravaganza will inflate the deficit by a dizzying $2.5 trillion. It’s difficult to say whether champagne or smelling salts are more appropriate at this juncture. 🍾

The mathematics are as robust as my Aunt Mildred’s brandy punch: $1.5 trillion in proposed spending cuts and an operatic $4 trillion in tax reductions. The world, it seems, is determined to prove that numbers—much like Victorian morals—are subject to fantastical interpretation.

Hakimian, now summoned nightly as the Delphic Oracle of finance, assures us that such fiscal largesse shall rain golden blessings upon Bitcoin (BTC) and its dowdy cousin, gold. In this production, the leading roles go to assets with a certain flair for drama and a taste for headlines.

Those with a penchant for equities shall also find reason to twirl their umbrellas—US stocks are expected to waltz merrily in the afterglow of these expansive pockets.

Bonds, on the other hand, are left at the ball without a dance partner. More government debt means more bond issuance, and, as ever, nothing sours a soirée quite like an avalanche of IOUs. 😬

Meanwhile, Fox Business’ Charles Gasparino pronounced—without so much as a dramatic flourish—that dreams of tariffs plugging the deficit have waltzed offstage, since the US and China have discovered the elusive “agreement.” Curtain falls on that subplot, to nobody’s surprise.

The denizens of crypto have had their moment in the limelight: Bitcoin soared to an eye-watering $105,503, possibly out of sheer disbelief, before fainting decorously by over 2%. Such is the theatre of digital assets—tragedy and farce in equal measure.

Enter Wyoming Senator Cynthia Lummis with the impish assertion that Bitcoin might just solve the national debt, presumably through the power of wishful thinking. Not to be outdone, former BitMEX CEO Arthur Hayes opined that the US government purchasing Bitcoin is about as likely as spotting a unicorn at a budget committee—charming in theory, disastrous in reality.

deficit up, logic down, and cryptocurrency, as ever, applauding from the gallery. 🎭

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2025-05-13 00:02