Are Big Banks Hiding the Crypto Truth? Unmask This Shocker!

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In the dust and heat of modern bureaucracy, Paul Grewal, Coinbase’s chief of legal reckonings, cast a wary eye upon the FDIC. Like a weathered farmer railing against a stubborn drought, he decried the official delay—a 16-day extension requested in a FOIA lawsuit—as a farce, as absurd as trying to milk a storm 🌪️.

The court papers, heavy with the weight of bureaucratic misadventure, told a tale of legal missteps. Grewal’s words rang out, “legally incorrect” as he dismissed the extension as an unwelcome stalling trick. One couldn’t help but picture an old prospector shaking his head at yet another misadventure in the labyrinth of modern government.

The suit sought the FDIC’s inner records—documents that might unearth a clandestine effort, a modern “Operation Chokepoint 2.0,” designed to bar crypto pioneers from the banks’ welcoming arms. Imagine the irony: a valiant quest for truth amid the murky corridors of power, as if searching for water in a parched valley.

Parties in litigation regularly ask for reasonable extensions to deadlines–fine. But @FDICgov just filed 13 pages in our FOIA suit asking the Court for another 16 days to decide whether to ask us for … even more delay. As laid out in our response, this is absurd. 😒 — paulgrewal.eth (@iampaulgrewal) April 10, 2025

Grewal took to the digital commons, a modern twist on the town square, to bemoan the needless prolonging of a simple matter. The agency’s claim of a May 2 response, rather than the rightful April 16, stoked the fires of his indignation. One might almost chuckle at the absurdities of bureaucratic timekeeping ⏰.

Earlier, under mounting pressure, nearly 800 pages tumbled out from the FDIC’s vaults. These documents recounted how banks had been cautioned away from serving crypto companies, not out of financial peril, but for the mere risk of tarnished reputations. A curious tale indeed, reminiscent of old rumors whispered around a dusty general store.

Both Coinbase and its steadfast captain, Brian Armstrong, decried the whole affair as a “coordinated effort” and downright “unethical,” as if the Biden administration were conspiring behind closed doors. The drama unfolded with a hint of irony, like a well-worn folktale with a modern twist.

Meanwhile, the House Oversight Committee, ever the watchful guardian of truth, began demanding testimonies and more records from all corners of the fracas. As the pressure mounted, one couldn’t help but smile wryly—after all, the stage of modern governance never fails to deliver a tale rich with irony and a dash of humor 😏.

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2025-04-11 14:30