Astrology and Bitcoin: The Lunar Eclipse Is Coming for Your Crypto!

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Ah, the wretched Bitcoin price! In a technical correction, much like a cat that’s been tossed into a river, it will surely thrash about for a few weeks before accepting its fate. 🐱💧

This week, Bitcoin (BTC) found itself sulking at a measly $82,177, barely catching its breath in a bear market embrace. But lo and behold, like a determined cockroach, it has scuttled back to $86,200, buoyed by the cheerful news of Nvidia’s earnings. That’s right, dear readers, Nvidia is out here making money while Bitcoin takes a nap!

Now, enter stage left: an anonymous analyst, a self-proclaimed oracle of the stars, armed with astrology knowledge and a flair for dramatic predictions. He hastily proclaims that Bitcoin and its altcoin companions will continue their downward spiral until March 13—perfectly timed for the next Lunar Eclipse. Because nothing screams “financial advice” like consulting the cosmos! 🌌

“We’ve entered a $Crypto danger zone from now until the March 13th Lunar Eclipse. It’s opposing serious Saturn while being conjunct #BTC natal Saturn—a potential shit show sell-off, folks!

Exact timing is like predicting the weather in Siberia, but don’t expect any good news until then!”

— Crypto Damus (@AstroCryptoGuru) February 18, 2025

In his cosmic wisdom, this analyst warns us that Bitcoin is ensnared in a Saturn conjunction, a time that beckons contractions and hefty corrections—maybe even a comically awkward retreat to grandma’s basement! 🏠

He predicts the ongoing decline will linger until the stars align on either March 13 or 14, when emotions and subconscious yearnings clash dramatically. Imagine a soap opera, but instead of love triangles, we have trading charts and price dips!

Now, let’s not ignore the dull thuds of fundamental and technical factors further supporting this bearish outlook. Spot Bitcoin ETFs have been experiencing strong outflows, as investors channel their inner introverts and choose to stay off the dance floor. The SoSoValue data shows this mass exodus continues. What a glorious time to be a rule-abiding investor!

And as the cherry on this bearish cake, the specter of Donald Trump looms with tariffs that could stir more volatility in the market, just like a disruptive guest at a dinner party. Why, Bitcoin took a nosedive earlier this month when tariffs on goods from our neighbors were suggested! 🍽️💥

Bitcoin price technicals point to a crash

The BTC price has also played the role of a tragic hero, forming a three dark crows candlestick pattern—like the ominous arrival of bad news, all the way from the underworld! This might indicate further sorrowful times ahead. And what do we have now? A rebound, perhaps, but hold on, it could very well be a dead cat bounce or a mischievous bull trap. Just imagine, a bull leading you happily towards a cliff! 🐂💔

If that wasn’t enough, the price has dipped below the illustrious Ichimoku cloud indicator, creating a double top pattern, with its neckline at $89,107. A tragic comedy indeed! An 18% drop from this level would plunge our beloved Bitcoin to the March 2024 high of $73,613. Grab your popcorn, dear friends; it seems we have quite the show ahead of us!

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2025-02-27 18:03