Bitcoin Madness: Is Your Wallet Ready for a 20x Rocket Ride Every Time Liquidity Sneezes?

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Good heavens, Jeeves! It appears the old gal, Bitcoin, is at it again—charged up and careening about like Aunt Dahlia after a second sherry. Our protagonist in this particular caper is one Jamie Coutts, a sort of Sherlock Holmes of the crypto realm, peering through his magnifying glass at the arcane squiggles of global finance and having the temerity to declare: sprinkle 1% more liquidity onto this grand international stewpot and—presto!—up pops Bitcoin by a whopping 20%. Makes one wonder if we’re in economics or just down the pub playing darts blindfolded. 🎯

1% Liquidity = 20% Bitcoin?

Coutts, sporting the air of a man who’s just cracked the crossword in two clues, tells us that his jolly old Global Liquidity Index leapt to record heights on April 10th. Since this buoyant occurrence, Bitcoin, not to be outdone, bolted up approximately 40%—the financial markets’ version of a terrier after the postman. “Why,” Coutts scribbled on X (which apparently is not the treasure map one hopes), “this is entirely consistent with the chaps at the bank throwing wads of cash around and the dollar having a mild fainting spell.”

He proceeds to suggest—casually, as if it’s the sort of thing one mentions over breakfast—that with every extra 1% of liquidity, Bitcoin could leap by more than 20%. And, should the markets get a whiff of panic, he expects an ‘oh shit’ moment, which, he implies, will simultaneously delight and traumatise investors. Like being offered trifle only to find it’s full of rum—delicious, alarming, and destined to put you horizontal.

Gaze, if you will, at his affixed chart (above), where his Liquidity Index and the price of Bitcoin prance together from 2018 through June 2025. The white line (GLI) sprints north to $138 trillion. The orange chap (BTC) is hot on its heels, nearing $108,000. Observe them twirling in what can only be described as an elaborate and expensive waltz. 🕺💃

Coutts, busy as a bee with a spreadsheet, concocts his mighty index by sloshing together the assets held at the world’s major central banks, adding a dash of money supply (M2, for those untroubled by insomnia), and garnishing with dollops from US Treasury sundries. Observers should note that since the fabled April episode, only a mere two percent of liquidity has been added, yet Bitcoin has bounded ahead—either showing the model is a work of dizzying genius, or that Bitcoin has all the self-restraint of a spaniel in a sausage factory.

The backdrop, says Coutts, positively brims with bullish prospects: the Federal Reserve is still draining its reserves, the People’s Bank of China is quietly inflating like Bertie Wooster’s ego after a win at the Drones Club, and the European Central Bank is hinting about throwing more fuel on the fire. All this suggests the show is set to run for a while—albeit as a sort of slapstick farce rather than a stately drama.

Looking beyond next week’s luncheon, experts suspect we’ll see global liquidity rise steadily—one to six percent in the next year, a tidy three to eight by 2027, and by decade’s end perhaps ten to fifteen. If Coutts’ cocktail napkin calculations hold true, even a modest increase could send Bitcoin upwards like a scone in Aunt Agatha’s oven, with returns that would make even the steeliest-hearted widow faint.

And now, as we flick the monocle and peer at the latest rate, BTC’s currently lounging about at $107,676—give or take a few zeroes and a nervous twitch in the Dow Jones. 🤑

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2025-06-13 09:06