So, there’s this Japanese investment firm, Metaplanet. And they’re not just dipping their toes in the Bitcoin pool, oh no. They’re cannonballing in, splashing everyone within a five-mile radius. They want 21,000 Bitcoins. Twenty-one thousand. By 2026. It’s like they’re collecting Beanie Babies, except these Beanie Babies could, you know, theoretically buy you a small island nation someday. 🤷♀️
They’re issuing shares like they’re going out of style (which, let’s face it, paper probably is). ¥116.65 billion worth, to be exact. That’s enough yen to wallpaper your house and still have some left over for, I don’t know, a lifetime supply of those little fish-shaped crackers. 🐠
“Metaplanet’s 2025-2026 Bitcoin Plan reflects our commitment to innovation and leadership in Bitcoin treasury operations. As we execute this ambitious plan, we aim to deliver long-term value to our shareholders by growing our Bitcoin holdings and maximizing BTC Yield.”
Metaplanet (aka, The Future Rulers of the Digital World? We’ll see.)
Their representative director, Simon Gerovich (who I imagine looks like a Bond villain, but with slightly better posture) says everyone recognizes them as Tokyo’s preeminent Bitcoin company. Which, I mean, if you’re throwing around this much cash, people tend to notice. It’s like showing up to a potluck with a whole roasted pig. You command attention. 🐷
“Our vision is to lead the Bitcoin renaissance in Japan and emerge as one of the largest corporate Bitcoin holders globally. This plan is our commitment to that future.”
Simon Gerovich (practicing his evil laugh, probably. Muahahahaha!)
Apparently, 2024 was a pretty good year for them. Their BTC Yield hit 309.82% in Q4. I don’t even know what that means, but it sounds impressive. Like, show-off-at-your-high-school-reunion impressive. They had 1,761 Bitcoin at the end of the year, which, in regular people money, is a lot. Their market cap grew 7,000%. Seven. Thousand. Percent. 🤯
Their shares rose 3.1% after this announcement. Which, you know, good for them. I bought a lottery ticket last week and won a free lottery ticket. So, perspective. 🎉
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2025-01-28 13:45