One scarcely believes one’s eyes—Bitcoin, that impalpable miracle, floats serenely above the $100,000 line, a dragonfly on the bright surface of modern finance. All this, while the world’s somber men in waistcoats (or, in today’s variety, sweat-stained shirts and Bluetooth headsets) nod with satisfaction, declaring the macroeconomic weather clement for risk-takers. In the salons and tearooms—virtual, alas—analysts utter the exhausted euphemism: a “perfect storm” of sunshine for digital riches. The aristocracy of code has rarely felt so giddy. 😏
US-China: The Waltz in Geneva
On a recent Sunday, when honest folk were likely at church or sleeping off tedious hangovers, the global order enjoyed a rare Sabbath peace. Mr. Scott Bessent, the American money-keeper, and Mr. Jamieson Greer, his trade-bargaining cousin, returned from Geneva with news of a commercial truce. Perhaps they toasted with weak Swiss coffee—though one imagines they wanted something stronger.
Their grand bargain, precise as a Turgenevian marriage contract, reduces tariffs: America, that perennial sunday school teacher with a stick, lowers its duties on Chinese imports from a preposterous 145% to an almost gentlemanly 30%. China, not to be outdone in magnanimity, drops its own from 125% to a paltry 10%. For ninety days, at least, tea and gadgets might cross the ocean as easily as sighs.
Yet, like spring in the provinces, this reprieve feels fleeting. The mighty duel between empires has cooled, not concluded. Still, for the moment, even the market’s worst hypochondriacs have set aside their smelling salts. 😌
Inflation: Not Dead, Just Napping
Tuesday dawned with unlikely good news—the economists, those ever-anxious priests of data, blinked in disbelief as inflation slouched to a four-year low. The Bureau of Labor Statistics, never known for lyricism, declared a modest rise of 0.2% in the CPI. Inflation, that most capricious mistress, rested at 2.3%. If this keeps up, they might soon extol the Federal Reserve in verse!
Brian Coulton of Fitch, who probably hasn’t smiled since the dot-com bubble, managed to acknowledge: “Core goods prices haven’t yet flinched at these tariffs. Services inflation is, curiously, catching its breath.” One imagines the entire economic bureau, blinking owlishly at their spreadsheets, suspecting a prank.
From Gloom to Giddy: The Sentiment Shift
This rare alignment in the heavens—a thaw in the perpetual trade winter, the taming of inflation—has made fools of gloom-mongers. 
Not long ago, Bitcoin and its kin were abandoned for sturdier companions: gold, cash, perhaps a good dog. Investors, at the time, would sooner stuff their savings into a mattress than into the arms of Satoshi’s wild offspring.
Today, the wheel turns. The prospect of rate cuts lingers like perfume on a spring evening, intoxicating cryptophiles new and old. With lower inflation, Bitcoin—obstinate, unyielding, and stubbornly incapable of paying interest—becomes strangely desirable. How very 19th century! 🧐
The Cautious Whispers Over Vodka
But let us not don our celebratory hats too soon. Behind every optimistic note, the bass-line of caution grumbles. Coulton, peering through half-moon glasses, grumbles that “Core goods inflation will stir soon enough, once the pre-tariff stockpiles are gone.” In other words: enjoy your goldilocks while it lasts, because the bears may return from their nap at any moment.
For now, however, Bitcoin basks in an improbable halo. One struggles not to smile at its improbable ascent—over $100,000! Once, such heights were the stuff of fevered telegrams or idle boasts over pipes in Moscow drawing rooms. Now, even the most sullen of traders must concede: the future is here, and it is, for the moment, thoroughly ridiculous. 🚀
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2025-05-15 10:46