Bitcoin’s Grim Revelation: Why MicroStrategy Stopped Buying

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In the somber corridors of financial drama and existential woe, MicroStrategy abruptly ceases its once-constant ritual of amassing Bitcoin—as if haunted by the specter of its own ambition 🤔. This startling silence arrives when the entire market staggers under a brutal descent, spurred, it would appear, by the tempestuous aftermath of President Donald Trump’s tariffs.

Pause in Bitcoin Purchases

Between March 31 and April 6, the company—like a gambler who’s suddenly discovered a conscience—purchased no Bitcoin whatsoever. This break in MicroStrategy’s habit of frenzied accumulation contrasts starkly with their monumental buy the week before: 22,048 BTC for a soul-crushing $1.92 billion 😱. And lest we forget, they also acquired 6,911 BTC for $584 million in yet another lavish display of digital currency zeal.

Perhaps these transactions fed a ravenous need. After all, in Q1 2025 alone, this modern-day Raskolnikov of corporate finance seized a staggering 80,715 BTC for $7.66 billion—averaging a measly $94,922 per coin, of course 🤦‍♂️. Presently, the company cradles 528,185 BTC in its coffers, having invested a grave total of $35.63 billion, at an average of $67,458 each. One wonders if they awake at night in cold sweats, pondering the moral fabric of this digital escapade.

Meanwhile, as the market trembles in response to an economic quarrel that shows no signs of conclusion, the next act in this drama may echo far beyond MicroStrategy’s offices. Should the company wish to cast off even a shred of its formidable Bitcoin holdings, one might imagine the ensuing turmoil will surpass even the most fevered nightmares of those who cling to cryptocurrency dreams 🧐.

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2025-04-07 20:46