In a twist that surprised absolutely no one who’s ever glanced at a crypto chart, the digital gold rush turned into a digital gold *slush* as Bitcoin took a nosedive below $100,000. The crypto market collectively lost over $900 million in 24 hours, which is roughly the GDP of a small island nation or the cost of Elon Musk’s next tweet. 🏝️💸
According to CoinGlass, 338,355 traders were left clutching their metaphorical hats as $862 million vanished from long liquidations and $112.86 million evaporated from short liquidations. It’s like a magic trick, but the only thing disappearing is your savings. 🎩✨
Bitcoin led the charge in the Great Crypto Fire Sale with $305 million in long liquidations, while Ethereum trailed behind with a mere $140 million. The market’s price swings were so wild, they could’ve been choreographed by a caffeinated squirrel. 🐿️☕
Bitcoin dropped 5% today, sliding from an intraday high of $105,000 to below $99,959. But hey, trading volume surged by 292% to $77.5 billion, proving that people love a good bargain—even if it’s a bargain on something that doesn’t physically exist. 🛒💎
The altcoin market wasn’t spared either, with Ethereum (ETH) losing over 5% to an intraday low of $3150. XRP, Dogecoin (DOGE), Cardano (ADA), and Avalanche (AVAX) also joined the pity party, painting the market in a lovely shade of “oh no, not again.” 🎨😬
BitMex co-founder Arthur Hayes, who apparently moonlights as a crypto fortune teller, predicts Bitcoin could tumble further to $70,000 or $75,000. But fear not! He also foresees a rebound to $250,000 by year’s end, thanks to the Federal Reserve’s magical money printer. 🖨️💵
“The Ugly will be published tomorrow morning. I am calling for a $70k to $75k correction in $BTC, a mini financial crisis, and a resumption of money printing that will send us to $250k by the end of the year,” he said, presumably while stroking a crystal ball. 🔮📉📈
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2025-01-27 21:25