Bitcoin’s Wild Rollercoaster: Uptrend or Just a Bumpy Pothole? 🎢🥴

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After what can only be described as the cruelest episode of “Survivor: Bitcoin ETF Edition” since their grand debut in January 2024, a miraculous four-day streak of net inflows has sprouted up like an unexpected dandelion in a pristine lawn. Could this mean Bitcoin is navigating its way back into the land of the prosperous and glory-filled? Or is it merely a slightly optimistic optical illusion? 🤔

Front-running tariffs: Because why not add chaos to the economic stew?

It can inarguably be postulated that nothing terribly cataclysmic emerged from Wednesday’s FOMC meeting. Well, apart from the Federal Reserve Chairman doing an impressive impersonation of a confused octopus trying to read a map. His forecast consisted largely of ominous predictions of lower growth, higher inflation, and a job market playing hide and seek. What fun! 🎉

These revelations were as shocking as a wet towel at a luxury spa, and everyone in the market was well-prepared with popcorn in hand. Given the somewhat bewildering uncertainty of those Trump tariffs (which sound like the title of a bad play), it’s clear the Fed had ample reason to avoid concrete predictions about the economy’s trajectory rolling into 2025.

With those tariffs effectively “priced in” – as if it were valuable fine cheese – and the unfortunate recent economic reports being mere exercises in futility spurred by front-running these tariffs, we might actually be on the brink of improvement. Or at least better sitcoms.

Ah yes, the two rumored quarter-point rate cuts that analysts are still gossiping about as if they were the hot new couple at a dinner party are still lurking about. And Chairman Powell, in his infinite wisdom, mentioned that the Fed’s balance sheet will gradually unwind its chokehold on the market, which sounds a tad more pleasant than it actually is.

U.S. Spot Bitcoin ETFs: The Great Sell-off That Nobody Wanted 🙃

From the 10th of February through the 14th of March, it seemed the U.S. Spot Bitcoin ETFs had decided to embark on the biggest sell-off since they entered the arena. With the occasional bungled attempt at inflow, the market culminated in a dramatic crescendo on the 25th of February, where a staggering $1.01 billion skedaddled out of the ETFs like they were late for a party. 💸

If we were to dig deep into the grand historical tapestry of these ETFs’ lives, we’d notice a pattern – where outflows often danced hand in hand with price declines, while the reverse was similarly flirtatious. So, while this fresh bout of net inflows doesn’t officially qualify as a robust headline act, it could just be a hint that Bitcoin might be ready to rise like a lonely loaf of bread in a cozy oven.

Bitcoin: Climbing its Way Back One Tiny Step at a Time

The short-term trajectory for $BTC is currently embroiled in a delightful little uptrend, which—if squinted at properly—could reveal a series of higher highs and modest lows frolicking together within an ascending channel. This channel may, or may not (let’s keep this vague), resemble a bear flag. If the price does indeed go south, we’re headed toward a lesser-known horizontal support level at… wait for it… $73,700. 🐻

But fret not, dear reader! For now, the price is shimmying sideways, and there lies a fair chance this joyous local upward trend may continue, possibly jauntily dancing up to the lofty heights of $91,000, where the air is fresher and the investment prospects more upbeat. 🌤️

Hash Ribbons: The Indicator with a Sense of Humor

Enter the illustrious Hash Ribbons, one of our top 10 indicators for Bitcoin. Interestingly enough, this mystical oracle isn’t known for handing out false signals like free candy at a parade. Through the entirety of this bullish escapade so far, the Hash Ribbons have issued three magnificent buy signals! It’s almost like a magical incantation—except it’s financial. Talk about adulting! 🧙‍♂️

Sure, a price dip can sneak in right after a buy signal, but history shows that the bottom usually materialized within a week or two after the signal. Isn’t that charming? 🌈

Returning to our current signal, the captivating capitulation circle is present and audaciously starting to extend sideways. This means that while the capitulation phase is still waltzing along, we may still have a smidge more downside to flirt with. How long this curious little dance continues is anyone’s guess, but rest assured, if a buy signal does decide to show up, we might be in for a wild stock market ride!

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2025-03-21 14:11