Crypto Chaos: U.S. House Struggles to Tame the Wild Digital Frontier

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Ah, the U.S. House of Representatives. The place where great minds (and a few questionable ones) come together to tackle the future of everything, including the all-powerful, mysterious crypto industry. This time, it’s the $2.7 trillion beast of digital currency that’s causing them to break a sweat. The goal? To figure out how to make sense of all this nonsense.

On April 9, the House Financial Services Committee’s subcommittee on Digital Assets, Financial Technology, and Artificial Intelligence held another of its “let’s pretend we know what we’re doing” hearings about crypto regulation. Their aim? To make sure the laws of the land are more than just a vague suggestion when it comes to digital assets. Basically, they want to align 20th-century securities laws with the digital age, which is basically like trying to fit a square peg in a round hole but with a lot more zeros and ones involved.

House Financial Services Committee Chairman French Hill, in a fit of optimism (or possibly caffeine), spoke about the “bipartisan efforts to bring clarity and stability” to crypto. He also tossed in the hope that by the end of 2025, they might have some actual legislation. Or at least a decent PowerPoint presentation.

WATCH: Chairman @RepFrenchHill delivers opening remarks at today’s Subcommittee hearing:

“It is incumbent on us to build on that momentum and continue working toward a comprehensive regulatory framework that establishes clear rules of the road for digital asset markets… It’s all going to work out, really. Trust us. We’ve got this.” 📺⬇️

— Financial Services GOP (@FinancialCmte) April 9, 2025

“We’re gonna get this thing across the finish line by the end of this year, and we’ll look real professional while doing it. That’s a promise, folks,” said Rep. French Hill.

The SEC: Because Every Drama Needs a Villain

Now, the SEC, that old and occasionally grumpy watchdog of the financial world, is once again at the center of the circus. Despite a few choice criticisms of the SEC’s handling of things (mostly under Gary Gensler’s watch, because when isn’t Gensler involved?), committee members still think it has a role in regulating crypto.

“The SEC’s role? Well, it’s like the mom at a chaotic birthday party—keeps everything in check even if no one really listens to her. The Committee believes that issuers raising capital by selling new digital assets should totally be under SEC’s watchful gaze,” said Rep. Bryan Steil.

But don’t get too excited about the SEC tackling *everything* in crypto. Turns out memecoins—those adorable, barely-functional little digital pets—won’t be touched by the SEC. Why? Because they’re not securities, according to Gensler’s gang. They’re more like collectibles, which is a way of saying they’re probably not worth your time, but let’s not burst anyone’s bubble.

Not everyone at the hearing was ready to hand out crypto hugs and high-fives. Rep. Maxine Waters decided to stir the pot a little, accusing committee members of showing favoritism toward Donald Trump’s crypto ventures, which, if we’re being honest, might just qualify him as the “Crypto King” of the year. If there’s an award for it, that is.

But of course, this hearing is just another episode in the ongoing drama of crypto regulation in the U.S. The most recent plot twist? The U.S. House passed the Financial Innovation and Technology for the 21st Century Act with bipartisan support on May 22. Which is great, if you’re into *that* kind of thing.

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2025-04-09 21:17