Crypto Circus: Pump.fun Founder Axed from X as Suspensions Rain Down—Here’s the Drama

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On that fateful Monday, as the Moscow rain beat upon the rooftops, the digital lamp of Pump.fun and its creator Alon Cohen flickered and—poof!—vanished from the wide, soulless steppes of X. The platform, ever the coy bureaucrat, offered no explanation. One can almost see the officials in dim rooms, muttering, “X suspends accounts which violate the X Rules,” though which rules and whose, only the vodka bottle can say. 😏

It was not just our dear memecoin inventors sent to Siberia. Like exiled poets, at least nineteen others—names such as GMGN, BullX, Bloom Trading, and the shadowy Eliza OS—found their banners rolled up, according to the tireless chronicler “Otto” with his scroll of lamentations.

For ages (in crypto years, so roughly since the Crimean War), X was the cherished haunt of blockchain dreamers and hustlers. Sudden banishments have left these poor souls wandering in search of WiFi and purpose, their ability to shout “WAGMI” at each other tragically hampered.

As of this very instant, X stares into the void, refusing comment. Pump.fun’s courtiers? Equally silent. Perhaps composing a lengthy tweet thread in a nearby samovar.

GMGN “actively appealing” X suspension

On the courts of Telegram, GMGN declared with the gravity of a landowner evicted from his estate: “We are aware of our X suspension, and are actively appealing… working to restore the account as soon as possible.” One can only imagine them penning letters into the night, fingers ink-stained, “dearest X, do not forsake us.”

Their agents huddle, “in close communication with X to expedite a resolution.” If only push notifications could mend a broken heart.

Suspensions due to API use, users speculate

The townsfolk, always eager with rumors, agree: “It was a third-party API!” (“API”—a mystery greater than the czar’s fortune.) Back in January 2023, X outlawed such contraptions. But necessity breeds cleverness, and some platforms, to avoid paying $60,000 for X’s golden keys, simply snuck in the servants’ entrance. 🍷

Yet, for all the speculation, the truth remains elusive. Perhaps the reason is also stashed in the same cupboard as the last honest ICO.

Pump.fun sued for allegedly helping pump-and-dumpers

And what is the fate of Pump.fun? Braden, Pump.fun’s self-styled marketing bard, complained (like a child denied his sweet): “Probably the mass reporting bs.” Such poetry! Others, clutching pearls, recall that Pump.fun’s memecoins are as valuable as an IOU from a cousin. In January, a class-action suit rang out—accusing Pump.fun of helping pump-and-dumpers churn out hundreds of tokens, none of them worth the ink, save the $500 million in fees. Not bad for coin-shaped air!

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2025-06-17 09:28