Crypto Council Chaos: Who Will Survive the Trump Showdown?

Other big names in the running include Marco Santori, the former general counsel of Kraken (not the mythical sea monster, mind you), and Frank Chaparro, a podcast host who probably has more followers than your average cat video. There’s also Jeremy Allaire from Circle, Brian Armstrong of Coinbase, and Kris Marszalek from Crypto.com, all of whom are likely practicing their best “please pick me” faces in the mirror. 😬

Trump’s executive order, signed with all the flair of a magician pulling a rabbit out of a hat, officially birthed this council. Its mission? To foster innovation in blockchain and digital assets while simultaneously removing the regulatory uncertainties that have plagued the industry like a bad case of the hiccups. Particularly during the Biden administration, which, let’s face it, has been about as clear as mud. 🥴

One of the council’s most pressing tasks will be to decide whether cryptocurrencies should be classified as securities or commodities. This decision is akin to deciding whether a hot dog is a sandwich — it could have cascading implications for the industry’s fate in the U.S. and possibly beyond. 🌭

With so many big-name contenders, it’s clear that snagging a seat will be tougher than finding a needle in a haystack — while blindfolded. However, Trump’s aides are reportedly prioritizing industry experience over political loyalty, which is a refreshing change in a world where loyalty often trumps logic. As Bitcoin investor Aubrey Strobel put it: “There are lots of people gunning for a spot.” And who wouldn’t want to be part of this circus? 🎪