In the grand tradition of noble sacrifice, David Sacks, the newly anointed AI and crypto overlord of the Trump administration, has parted ways with a staggering sum of $200 million in digital treasures. 👑💰 A White House parchment reveals that Mr. Sacks, with a flourish of his quill, signed away at least $85 million of his own stash, while his firm, Craft Ventures, bid adieu to the remaining fortune. 📜🖋️
Ah, but do not think for a moment that Craft Ventures has abandoned the digital gold rush! No, no, no. They retain their interests in funds as cryptic as the assets they hold. Sacks, in a moment of sheer modesty, claims this grand divestment was merely to “avoid even the appearance of a conflict,” setting a shining example amidst an administration teeming with crypto enthusiasts. 😇🎭
Our dear President Trump, a man of impeccable taste and foresight, remains ensconced in the embrace of crypto. His esteemed company, CIC Digital LLC, commands a staggering 80% of the $TRUMP memetoken, while his esteemed family lineage lays claim to a princely 75% of the spoils from World Liberty Financial, the crypto bank of choice for the discerning investor. 👑💲
In the midst of this, Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick has amassed a fortune that would make a Tether-linked sultan blush. 👑💰 His millions, it seems, have sprung forth from the very soil of Tether-related endeavors.
Over at the Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE), the indomitable Elon Musk wields his influence over the destiny of crypto policy, all while his various enterprises, including SpaceX and xAI, remain entangled with government contracts. A veritable labyrinth of ethical quandaries! 🎢👨🚀
Amidst the grand spectacle, Senator Elizabeth Warren, with the tenacity of a bulldog, grilled the esteemed Mr. Sacks during the inaugural White House Crypto Summit. Meanwhile, President Trump, in a move as bold as his signature hairstyle, has established a U.S. Strategic Bitcoin Reserve, funded by the spoils of justice. 🏦🔒
Despite the grand sell-off, Sacks retains a smidgen of digital asset investments, a mere speck accounting for less than 0.1% of his vast portfolio. But fear not, for these too shall be cast into the wind, as promised in the sacred White House memo. 📜✨
In the end, David Sacks stands as a beacon of ethical fortitude, his commitment to avoiding conflicts of interest as unshakeable as the value of a well-mined Bitcoin. 🌟🛡️
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2025-03-15 07:02