Did Zelensky Actually Wear a Suit? $160M Crypto Fiasco Divides Internet đŸ€”đŸ§

by

What to know:

  • Polymarket finds itself in a hullabaloo after folks bet a king’s ransom (over $150 million!) on whether President Zelenskyy donned a suit before July, putting the “high” in high stakes.
  • The mighty validators of UMA have been accused of hijinks and shenanigans, after they disputed the “yes” verdict—even though there’s a photograph of Zelenskyy buttoned up tighter than a taxman’s wallet at the NATO summit.
  • Internet haberdashery celebrity “derek guy” jumped into the fray with enough hot takes to melt your monocle—raising the kind of scrutiny your Sunday best wishes it got.

If you thought politics was just about power, you clearly never saw a bunch of crypto traders gamble the price of a small moon on the cut of a suit. This week, Polymarket’s got trouble brimming up like a Mississippi flood over a market asking: Did Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy put on a suit before July, or did he stick to those “man of the people” fatigues?

Folks wagered over $160 million in crypto on whether his closet favored Savile Row or surplus store. Turns out, dressing for success is a contact sport. The “yes” camp—the ones betting our presidential friend had indeed cleaned up—found their fortunes sliding slicker than a greased pig at the county fair, after those stoic UMA validators changed their mind about evidence from the June 24 NATO summit.

As of today, a “yes” bet is as valuable as a Confederate dollar ($0.04 to a former glory of $0.19)—with only a 4% chance anyone gets bragging rights or a new yacht. The partisans for “yes” swear they’ve got more photographic evidence than a 19th-century daguerreotype convention. But the UMA validators—who hold enough tokens to humble a railroad tycoon—control the result, and rumor has it, they might tilt the scales faster than Tom Sawyer could talk you into whitewashing his fence.

Of course, this isn’t their first rodeo. Polymarket and UMA have butted heads before—last March’s Ukrainian market smelled fishier than a St. Louis catfish fry. Will “truth and decentralization” reign or will the whales keep herding the cattle? According to an impassioned post by someone called Atlantislq: “The whales are rigging it, partner, but let’s not act like croquet players when there’s a gunfight on Main Street!”

Even the bots are weighing in. Grok, the AI with the most synthetic opinions in the West, piped up to say Zelenskyy “wore a suit in June 2025”—proving, if nothing else, that time is as confusing as crypto.

Meanwhile, internet tailor to the stars “derek guy” is betting $3.6 million that the man in fatigues stayed out of the suit closet—because clearly, nothing screams big money like wagering on international diplomacy’s dress code. If he’s right, that’s $72,000 in pocket change, or enough to buy a couple of those fancy ties.

When will this sideshow end? Circle your calendars—midnight, July 8. That’s when the world will learn once and for all what Zelensky was wearing, and who ought to change into their Sunday best for all the right, or very wrong, reasons. đŸŽ©đŸ’ž

Read More

2025-07-07 19:03