Economist Roasts Trump’s Tariffs: Mickey Mouse Could Do Better?!

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Professor Jeffrey Sachs, with his eyebrows waggling in the wind, declared that Trump’s latest adventure in Tariff Land was about as effective as a chocolate teapot: oh-so-bold but fundamentally leaky. China and Russia wouldn’t even blink, provided they stuck to the not-so-secret magical spells of the WTO. 🧙‍♂️

Sachs Sneers at Tariff Tantrums: Not Even Mickey Mouse Would Approve

Economists, who spend their days plotting graphs and drinking suspiciously strong coffee, have been scrutinizing the White House’s latest plot twist: tariffs! And perched amongst these scholarly snoops is Jeffrey Sachs from Columbia University, who recently took a break from rescuing endangered logic to wag his finger at the whole idea.

Appearing at something called the Open Dialogue in Russia—(no, it’s not a new Bond film, but we wish it was)—Sachs delivered his critique with gusto, suggesting the whole plan was more likely to tickle the US behind its ears than give it a leg up.

Sharp as a hedgehog in a balloon shop, Sachs quipped:

President Donald Trump believes that tariffs will help the US economy. I disagree with that — it’s a serious mistake.

Sachs then suggested, with a twinkle in his eye, that as long as countries play by the WTO’s slightly wobbly rulebook, things will be just dandy for China, Russia, and anyone else not throwing tariff-themed tantrums. “I don’t think it will hurt Russia, China, or other countries that much. And I think the rest of the world can continue to grow and prosper despite this mistake by the U.S.,” he chimed.

Meanwhile, tariffs have become the magical beans in Trump’s “Make America Richer Again” fairy tale. Trump hinted that, if all this tariff stuff worked (a bit like planting beans and expecting a beanstalk), maybe the dreaded income tax would disappear. Spoiler: no sign of golden eggs yet. 🥚

From day one, Sachs has been throwing cream pies at the tariff plan, calling it “childish and dangerous,” and winking that Trump “wouldn’t pass a basic economics class” with his current array of trade spells. As for that list of tariff percentages by country? Sachs dubbed it a Mickey Mouse move, then gasped dramatically and apologized to Mickey, “who clearly would never have made such a blunder. Face it, folks—Mickey Mouse could run trade policy with one paw tied behind his back,” he concluded, causing Goofy to question whether it was too late for a career in economics.

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2025-05-02 01:57