Right, so. eToro, that place where everyone you went to school with is suddenly an “investor,” has bounced onto the Nasdaq runway like a caffeinated kangaroo, with shares leaping almost 30% on day one. Price started at $52—which, let’s face it, is already more than the balance in my savings account—and ended all glam at $67. At this rate, my 2010 Honda could be a down payment on a single share by Christmas.
Not to be outdone by itself, eToro’s stock spiked to a drama-queen high of $74.26 before wisely realizing it had overdone things and settled at a much more “relatable” $66.54 after hours. Could have bought three bottles of Chablis with that.
Originally, eToro aimed for $500 million by selling 10 million shares, but in classic overachiever style ended up selling nearly 11.92 million—because why stop at anything ending in a 0? Shares were split between the company and folks already holding the golden tickets, quietly high-fiving themselves in the background.
Apparently, BlackRock couldn’t resist the party and RSVP’d for up to $100 million worth of shares, according to a recent SEC filing. Meanwhile, eToro Australia’s own Robert Francis beamed about the IPO being proof that retail investing “isn’t just a trendy phase.” Next thing you know, investing will be as mainstream as oat lattes and dry shampoo.
Rival Robinhood, poor dear, chose this week to trip over its own shoelaces and watched its stock tiptoe down 1.9% to $61.39. At least it’s not crypto: eToro’s crypto revenue for 2024 is making TikTok stars jealous at $12.1 billion, wildly up from last year’s $3.4 billion—though the company predicts crypto’s slice won’t be as fat next year. Someone hide the cake.
With Goldman Sachs, Jefferies, UBS, and Citigroup all herding the IPO float (because nothing says “safe bet” like four investment banks and a dash of market turbulence), eToro’s debut is the comeback tour the IPO market has been waiting for—especially since everyone’s still slightly traumatized by Trump’s last surprise tariff tweet.
So, have we officially entered the Age of the Everyday Trader? Or is this just another episode of “Stocks Behaving Badly”? Stay tuned, diary. 📝🍾
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2025-05-15 07:00