Hedge Funds Chase Stocks Like Cats After Lasagna: Goldman Sachs Reveals All

Ah, the ballet of financial frenzy! Goldman Sachs, the venerable oracle of Wall Street, whispers that hedge funds are not just nibbling—they are gobbling up stocks with the fervor of a gourmand at a buffet. The last time they dined this vigorously was back in 2024, a year when the calendar still had some charm left.

In a missive to their illustrious investors—those brave souls who trust their money more than their own mothers—they declare that hedge funds have been on a buying spree so rapid, it makes day trading look like a tranquil walk in the park. It’s the fastest swoop since November 2024, roughly seven months ago, which is practically an eternity in this digital age where seconds can make or break fortunes. Reuters, the soothsayer of headlines, confirms this whirlwind of activity.

Coincidentally, the stock markets, those capricious beasts, ended May with a flourish—up over 6%, the most since the last millennium—or at least since November 2023. May’s performance? The best in three decades, or since the dawn of the Dinosaur Age, depending on your perspective. Truly, April showers bring May flowers—and apparently, May’s stocks brought quite a lush bloom.

Goldman Sachs, the grand vizier of financial wisdom, assures us that hedge funds didn’t restrict their appetites to one corner of the globe—they were bullish everywhere! North America and Europe received the brunt of their enthusiasm, as if the entire world was a giant game of “Who Wants to Be a Millionaire.”

The technological sector, however, was the main course—hedge funds sank their greedy claws into the giants of silicon and circuit boards, snatching up the largest weekly net long positions in over five years. The starry-eyed investors swooped especially on firms involved in artificial intelligence—those cloud-borne dreams of sentient machines, semiconductor manufacturers, tech hardware producers, and electrical equipment companies. It’s as if they believed robots would kindly tip the scales someday soon.

North American tech companies drew their affection first, followed by the European titans of tech—probably dreaming of dinner parties with AI-enabled toaster ovens. But the feast was not limited to chips and circuits; hedge funds also filled their shopping carts with stocks from consumer discretionary, financial, healthcare, and communications sectors across Europe. Fancy a digital stethoscope or a talking TV? They bought those too, apparently.

Goldman Sachs adds, as if uncovering a new secret in a dusty attic, that their hedge fund clients primarily purchased single stocks.Occasionally, they threw in a little index here and there—because who doesn’t love a side of passive investments with their main course of risk? All this, with an eye on the horizon, expecting asset prices to climb—like climbing a mountain with a promise of a panoramic view and, perhaps, a croissant at the summit.

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2025-06-04 15:01