Ah, the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea, that enigmatic land of paradoxes, has now ascended to the lofty heights of the fifth-largest sovereign Bitcoin holder in the world! How, you ask? Well, it appears that the notorious Lazarus group, a veritable Robin Hood of the digital underworld, has pilfered a staggering $1.4 billion from the unsuspecting Bybit. One can only marvel at the audacity! 🎩💸
In a twist that would make even the most seasoned cynic chuckle, this North Korean-funded band of merry marauders has outstripped the crypto-friendly nations of Bhutan and El Salvador in their Bitcoin holdings. Yes, indeed! Lazarus now boasts a treasure trove of 13,518 BTC, valued at a cool $1.1 billion—at least, until the next market crash, of course. 🤑
This newfound wealth, amassed through a series of cyber escapades and exploits, is reminiscent of a Dostoevskian tale of moral ambiguity. From the infamous DMM Bitcoin exploit in 2024 to the audacious heist of the Ronin Network in 2022, where Lazarus made off with $308 million and over $600 million in crypto, one must wonder: is crime truly the most lucrative profession? 🤔💻
As it stands, the DPRK’s Lazarus has outdone Bhutan’s respectable 10,635 BTC, acquired through their own industrious mining, and El Salvador’s 6,118 BTC, a nation that boldly embraced Bitcoin as legal tender. Who knew that the path to wealth could be paved with such dubious deeds? 😏
In the grand scheme of sovereign Bitcoin portfolios, only the U.S. with its 198,109 BTC, China with 194,000 BTC, the United Kingdom’s 61,000 BTC, and Ukraine’s 46,351 BTC can claim to have more than North Korea. It’s a veritable race to the bottom, and North Korea is sprinting ahead! 🏃♂️💨
The meteoric rise in North Korea’s Bitcoin wealth can be traced back to Lazarus’ audacious attack on Bybit in February. The Dubai-based exchange reported the theft of over 400,000 Ether (ETH) from its Safe multi-sig cold wallet. One can only imagine the boardroom discussions that followed—“How did we let this happen?” 🤦♂️
Utilizing decentralized finance protocols like THORChain, which have been criticized for their lax anti-criminal measures, Lazarus deftly swapped a significant portion of the stolen ETH for BTC. According to a White House official, the proceeds from Lazarus and other DPRK-funded syndicates are said to finance nearly 50% of North Korea’s nuclear missile program. Ah, the irony! Who knew that cybercrime could fuel such explosive ambitions? 💣😅
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2025-03-17 18:17