Paul Tudor Jones Thinks AI Might Wipe Out Everyone—But Don’t Worry, He Still Likes Bitcoin!

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So there I was, trundling through the news, when none other than Paul Tudor Jones—hedge-fund overlord, Bitcoin aficionado, and all-around fellow who likely owns monogrammed slippers—popped up on CNBC. The man didn’t just mention a bad day at the office or a disappointing sandwich; he quite jauntily gave us a 10% chance—yes, one in ten, the same odds as getting a decent martini at a roadside pub—that artificial intelligence will turn half of humanity into ex-parrots within the next two decades. 🤖☠️

This chestnut was roasted at a super-secret private tech confab, presumably stocked with more brains, dollar bills, and inflated egos than a billionaire’s bachelor party. The gathering followed the Chatham House Rule, which isn’t, as I first hoped, a set of regulations for garden croquet, but simply a code that lets everyone blab about what was discussed, so long as nobody spills who started the whole existential panic.

Jones, in a manner equal parts alarming and reminiscent of a man reporting a tragic lack of crumpets at tea, shared a particularly cheery insight from the conference: “It’ll probably take a minor mishap where, oh, fifty to a hundred million people shuffle off this mortal coil before anyone takes it seriously.” Jolly!

At one point, our cast of geniuses were invited to physically troop over to either the “yes, machines may potentially turn us all into toast” corner or the “no, stop being dramatic” corner. Most of the room apparently sided with Team Optimism, but Jones and a handful of like-minded doomsters trotted gamely to the “agree” quarter.

Paul wasn’t shy about where he got his inspiration, crediting that perennial guest at every apocalyptic soirée, Elon Musk—described with a double helping of “brilliant.” (Frankly, I haven’t heard so much praise since Aunt Agatha congratulated herself on her chicken salad.)

And what does Jones think? AI: terribly dangerous! Absolutely thrilling! But also, in the great tradition of English farce, there is very little the humans onstage can do about it except peer nervously at the curtain and ponder taking up gardening.

For those who collect financial trivia second only to rare stamps, Paul Tudor Jones was also one of the first serious chaps from old-school finance to put a ring on Bitcoin back in 2020. Now, as Bitcoin miners are cosying up to artificial intelligence in a way that would make Victorian matchmakers blush, Jones’s cautionary word arrives—like a telegram delivered by a particularly sarcastic footman.

Paul Tudor Jones with Bitcoin and ominous AI vibes

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2025-05-06 19:01