Ripple and SEC Settle for Peanuts: You Won’t Believe Who Blinks First! 😱💸

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Well now, after months of legal footsie and more ink spilled than a Mississippi catfish fry, ol’ Brad Garlinghouse—captain of the good ship Ripple—has wrangled himself out from under the SEC’s thumb. The government boys finally dropped their appeal, probably when they realized wrestling with crypto is like wrestling with smoke. So, they all shook hands (and probably checked their fingers for coins), signing off on a $50 million settlement—a far cry from the mountains of gold the lawmen were dreaming about. 🤑

This grand agreement, shuffled into a New York court like a dog-eared poker hand on May 8, finally draws the last curtain on a drama that’s been hanging over Ripple and the whole crypto caboodle for years. If this odyssey were any longer, it’d have its own steamboat.

Here’s What They Hammered Out

According to official papers (written in the finest legal gobbledygook money can buy), Judge Analisa Torres is being asked to shut down the old restrictions on Ripple and let loose $125 million that’s been sitting in escrow—probably getting more interest than a riverboat gambler’s whiskey tab. Ripple forks over $50 million (pocket change, if you squint), and pockets $75 million right back for a rainy day. It’s like paying for lunch, but the waiter gives you back most of what you handed over and still thanks you for visiting.

Everyone, from the stern gentlemen at the SEC to the plucky Ripple lawyers, agrees to drop their fancy appeals and call it quits. Imagine an old-fashioned duel where both sides shoot into the air and mosey home for supper.

This barn dance started back in December 2020, when the SEC came charging at Ripple, waving accusations of raising $1.3 billion in a manner more slippery than a greased pig—selling XRP tokens like they were hotcakes at an unlicensed county fair.

Ripple kicked back, setting off a legal donnybrook that reached fever pitch in July 2023, when Judge Torres—presiding like Solomon with a gavel—decided that XRP’s wild journey through the markets wasn’t as clear-cut as the SEC hoped. What’s good for the retail gander, it turns out, isn’t always good for the institutional goose.

Ripple got slapped with a $125 million fine in August 2024 for some questionable institutional dealings. Not to be outdone, the SEC snatched a fresh hat in January 2025 and hollered for another round, arguing that all XRP sales ought to be painted with the same brush—retail, institutional, or otherwise. Ripple, naturally, fired back with its own legal shenanigans.

Behind the scenes, changes at the SEC—most notably when Gary “the Bull” Gensler took his ten-gallon hat and rode off into the sunset—left the agency a little less feisty. Rumors sprouted that the SEC would drop its appeal, but as is SEC custom, nobody said a word out loud.

What Happens Next?

Lawyer James K. Filan, who probably gets more email than Santa Claus, says Judge Torres needs to give the deal her blessing before this settlement is good as gold. Then, Ripple and the SEC will tiptoe over to the Second Circuit Court for a final signature—like getting your mother-in-law to co-sign a check.

With approval, the last legal shackles will fall away from Ripple. The escrow funds get released faster than a runaway raft, and both parties finally, blissfully, stop clogging up the appeals courts. The crowd goes wild! 🎉

The moment this was announced, the crypto world sat up and hollered. XRP leapt up by 5.2% in 24 hours, tickling $2.29—though crypto as a whole ran even faster that week. Still, XRP’s been strutting around like a prize rooster, rocketing up 340% over the past year.

The Ripple faithful broke out the moonshine and danced on Twitter, with attorney John E. Deaton drawing the curtain with this: “It’s over.” Which is about as close as you get to a standing ovation in crypto law.

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2025-05-09 11:22