Oh, the audacity! Sam Bankman-Fried, the once-mighty wizard of FTX, has emerged from his two-year hibernation like a bear with a particularly itchy backside, and posted on X. 🐻💻 And what do you know? The FTT token, that magical little beastie, gave a surprised little jump, like a startled cat, leaping 30% in a matter of minutes!
In a post so cheeky it could’ve been slapped on a monkey’s behind, our dear SBF, on the 25th of February, chuckled about ignoring his emails for what sounded like an eternity. He compared himself to government employees who were nervously eyeing their inboxes, probably wishing they could unplug like him. SBF, with a wink and a nudge, seemed to be poking fun at the U.S. Department of Government Efficiency’s email campaign, where poor souls had to plead their worth.
1) I have a lot of sympathy for gov’t employees: I, too, have not checked my email for the past few (hundred) days
And I can confirm that being unemployed is a lot less relaxing than it looks
— SBF (@SBF_FTX) February 25, 2025
But wait, there’s more! This post, which had about as much to do with FTX as a chocolate teapot has to do with holding tea, sent the FTT price into a tizzy. It shot up from $1.63 to $2.03 faster than you can say “pump and dump”! 🚀 But alas, the joy was as fleeting as a fart in a hurricane, with FTT sinking back down to $1.72 in half an hour. Poor little token, still down over 97% from its glory days, like a balloon that’s sprung a leak.
This marks the first time our dear SBF has piped up since January 2023, when he was busy drafting his congressional testimony, probably while wearing a “I’m with stupid ->” t-shirt. Meanwhile, his legal woes are sticking to him like gum on a shoe, with the FTX bankruptcy case still slogging through the courts and creditors eyeing him like a cat eyes a particularly juicy mouse.
And just when you thought it couldn’t get any juicier, rumors are swirling that SBF’s parents, those brainy Stanford Law professors, are scurrying around like headless chickens, trying to snag a presidential pardon for their boy. Imagine that! A meeting with Trump’s cronies, all to discuss letting their dear son off the hook. 🤝🍊
But let’s not forget, SBF is currently tucked away in the Brooklyn Metropolitan Detention Center, serving a 25-year stretch after being found guilty of more cons than a used car salesman’s convention. He’s appealing, of course, because in the world of SBF, the show must go on!
Keep the images where they are, because who doesn’t love a good visual gag?
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2025-02-25 10:01