Semler Scientific Dumps Millions into Bitcoin — Is the Fool’s Gold Back?

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Semler Scientific Dumps Millions into Bitcoin — Is the Fool’s Gold Back?

Oh, what joy! The medical tech company Semler Scientific, in its infinite wisdom, has decided to plunge further into the chaotic abyss of Bitcoin. A cool $20 million — because who doesn’t need more digital mayhem — for 185 BTC squeezed between May 23 and June 3. They now clutch a grand total of 4,449 Bitcoin, bought at a whopping average of $107,974 each. Yes, you read that right, they’re stacking coins like Monopoly money, all while the world watches with amused despair.

According to the SEC’s latest gossip on June 4, Semler’s Bitcoin stash is worth around $472.9 million — a handsome increase from their humble $410 million investment. Their Bitcoin yield? A modest 26.7% since May 2024. Because nothing beats watching your blood money grow while the stock price dances to its own tragic tune.

And oh, how diligently Semler has been buying! Regular purchases galore, adding another $50 million to their stash last May, after snatching up $10 million between February and April. All this, while their share price merrily tumbles down 37% in 2025. But fear not! Since announcing their bold leap into the crypto abyss on May 29, 2024, their shares have risen a brave 16%. A true testament to the power of wishful thinking.

Bitcoin holdings: The market’s wild circus show 🎪

The brave souls who dare to bet their fortunes on Bitcoin are experiencing a delightful patchwork of fortunes. While Semler’s shares have climbed 33% this year, Japanese firm Metaplanet has skyrocketed by 265%. Ah, the sweet scent of gambling profit! Bitcoin itself remains a rollercoaster. It shot up 11.8% this year, claiming an all-time high of $112,000 — only to plummet below $77,000 in the next act. Trade wars and economic chaos? Just minor inconveniences in this grand spectacle.

According to BitcoinTreasuries.NET, a staggering 3.4 million BTC are hiding out in treasuries — because where else would the last refuge of stability be? Governments? Exchanges? No, trust the treasuries to be the true vaults of hope (or despair).

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2025-06-04 22:18