corporations must include the imaginary gains of their unsold cryptocurrency in their Adjusted Financial Statement Income (AFSI)—the very metric CAMT uses to determine just how much “generosity” a firm must show to Uncle Sam. There is an exquisite irony here: only in modern American tax code could a company owe real money on fictional profits, as though Wall Street had been reimagined by Lewis Carroll. 🐇
The Financial Accounting Standards Board (FASB)—gallant guardian of ledgers everywhere—now demands that these glittering digital baubles be reported at “fair market value.” The stated aim is “transparency,” but critics say this is the sort of transparency one finds in St. Paul’s fog at dawn: deeply unhelpful to navigation. One moment your Bitcoin is worth a honeymoon in Paris; the next, it buys you only a ham sandwich. Despite the breathtaking creativity of the crypto market, shareholders and CFOs do not appreciate being taxed on ephemeral price hallucinations.
Senators Lummis and Moreno, champions of fiscal common sense (a species so rare as to be nearly extinct), contend this absurdity could drive U.S. firms to sell off their beloved coins or, worse, relocate to friendlier shores—perhaps Bermuda, where accountants are rumored to use cocktail napkins and no one has heard of the IRS. Their solution? Simply excise these paper profits and phantom losses from the all-important AFSI. They argue this will reconnect tax policy with “real economic outcomes”—a revolutionary concept, no doubt. 💸
This effort is but a single star in a cosmic push to drag American crypto regulation into the 21st century, kicking and screaming if need be. Whether the legislative machinery will creak to life before the next market crash—or before Bitcoin is accepted at Starbucks—remains an open question. For now, the old adage rings true: In matters of taxation and digital assets, expect everything except common sense. 🧾
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2025-05-14 08:42