Oh, what a spectacle! Like winter frost on summer leaves, our beloved basketball giant Shaquille O’Neal has found himself entangled in the digital wilderness of NFTs. The court’s gavel has fallen, dear readers, and with it comes an $11 million settlement that stings like a Moscow winter! 🥶
In a twist worthy of a Chekhov play, Judge Federico Moreno (who probably doesn’t know his blockchain from his basketball) blessed this peculiar performance on April Fools’ Day – how fitting! The announcement, like a delayed telegram, reached the masses a week later. 📬
Picture this: $11 million scattered like autumn leaves to those poor souls who believed in digital dreams, with lawyers swooping in like well-dressed ravens to collect their $2.9 million feast. Those who dared to purchase Astrals NFTs or GLXY tokens (ah, such poetic names for such prosaic disappointments!) can now claim their share of this digital compensation. 🍂
The judge’s words floated through the courtroom like a formal waltz: “The fee is fair and reasonable,” he declared, though one might wonder what’s reasonable about any of this digital masquerade. 💃
Our dear Shaq, who once dominated courts of a different kind, found himself accused of peddling “unregistered securities” – as if selling digital pictures of space creatures was somehow comparable to trading Russian government bonds! 😅
The Great NFT Decline: A Modern Tragedy 📉
Like forgotten poems in a dusty drawer, 10,000 unique 3D collectibles now rest in digital limbo, their creator Damien Guimoneau perhaps wondering if art should stick to canvas after all. The virtual world they promised – where one could frolic with Shaq himself – now seems as distant as a dream of spring in February. 🎨
The marketplace stands empty, silent as a Siberian night. Two years without a single sale – oh, what melancholy! And the broader NFT market? From $2 billion weekly to a mere $27 million – a fall so dramatic it would make Mayakovsky weep! 😢
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2025-04-09 06:49