Shocking! Trump Adviser Holds $5M Coinbase Stake—What Could Go Wrong? 🤔

Kevin Hassett, the ever-adorable genius behind the economy during Trump’s second run—yes, *that* Kevin—just dropped a bombshell. He’s stashing up to five million dollars in Coinbase stock. Like, who knew economics and crypto could be best friends? Apparently, Hassett and Coinbase are basically a couple now. 💼💸

According to a draft filing from the U.S. Office of Government Ethics (OGE)—which, let’s be honest, sounds like the name of a really boring superhero—Hassett’s been sitting on a sizable crypto stash. The man’s earned between $1 million and $5 million in Coinbase stock. So, he’s basically the Robin Hood of Wall Street, just with less hood. 🦸‍♂️

Hassett’s Rich Little Secret: Crypto & Wall Street Love Affair

Before claiming his throne in 2025, Hassett made a cool $1.5 million from Stanford, the Milken Foundation, and a bunch of other fancy places. And if that wasn’t enough to make your head spin, he also raked in $471,000 speaking fees from Goldman Sachs and Citigroup—because nothing says “trustworthy” like talking a lot. Then there’s Coinbase throwing in an extra $50,001—because, hey, why not? 💰

No Need to Divest—Yet. Because Who’s Keeping Track?

Here’s the thing: Unlike those cabinet members who are super serious about ethics and divestment, Hassett doesn’t have to share his crypto secrets just yet. White House officials who skip Senate confirmation? They get a free pass, like a golden ticket to the crypto party. So, is he going to cash out? Who knows! But as digital assets become the new black, the White House is busy drafting crypto-friendly policies faster than you can say “blockchain.”

Oh, and just after Hassett got his job, Trump signed an executive order creating a digital asset markets working group. Fancy talk for “Let’s Make Crypto Great Again.” 🥳

OGE in Chaos: Crypto Drama Continues

The U.S. ethics watchdog (aka OGE, because boring) has been slower than molasses in February, especially after Trump fired its head, David Huitema. Now we’ve got trade rep Jamieson Greer filling in—like a background extra in this trillion-dollar movie.

Meanwhile, more crypto-linked folks are joining the Trump entertainment show. Enter Brian Quintenz, with a cool $3.4 million tucked in his wallet—thanks, prediction markets! Quintenz pledged to liquidate if he gets the job, but who are we kidding? Bit of a “wait and see” situation. Patience, ultra-crypto-enthusiasts, your heroes are coming. Stay tuned! 😎

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OMG! Trump Advisor’s Crypto Secret Exposed! 😱

Okay, so, like, Kevin Hassett, who was totally in charge of Trump’s lemonade stand (aka the National Economic Council), apparently has a thing for crypto? 💅 Turns out, he’s sitting on a pile of Coinbase stock worth more than my entire shoe collection. [ManyChat](https://pollinations.ai/redirect-nexad/Bwu5rsm4) can help you create a bot to ask Kevin about it. This juicy tidbit comes from a draft filing – because nothing says “I’m totally not hiding anything” like a draft, amirite? This could get messier than my attempts at contouring. 🤣 Apparently, this all stems from his gig on some fancy-schmancy advisory council. 🤷‍♀️

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2025-06-04 13:44