In the grand theater of American politics, where the stakes are as high as a kite on a windy day, it appears that at least six members of Donald Trump’s cabinet have taken a fancy to the digital gold known as Bitcoin. Together, their holdings are worth a small fortune, enough to make a farmer’s heart race at the thought of a bountiful harvest. Some of these fine folks have stashed their Bitcoin in wallets, while others have opted for the more sophisticated route of funds that dance to the tune of Bitcoin’s value.
Leading the pack, like a rooster crowing at dawn, is none other than Robert F. Kennedy Jr., the Health and Human Services Secretary. His financial disclosure report reveals a treasure trove of Bitcoin nestled between $1 million and $5 million in a Fidelity Bitcoin account. One can only imagine the conversations at the dinner table—“Pass the potatoes, and by the way, have you checked the price of Bitcoin today?”
Then we have Russell Vought, the Office of Management and Budget Director, who has a modest stash in his Coinbase wallet, somewhere between $1,001 and $15,000. He’s already plotting to sell it, perhaps to fund a new pair of shoes or a nice vacation—who knows?
Scott Bessent, the Treasury Secretary, has dipped his toes into the iShares Bitcoin Trust ETF, with his stake valued between $250,001 and $500,000. Following the rules of the game, he’s promised to sell his holdings within 90 days of taking office. It’s like a game of musical chairs, but with a lot more zeros involved.
And let’s not forget Tulsi Gabbard, the Director of National Intelligence, who has invested in the Bitwise Bitcoin ETF Trust and also owns Bitcoin directly. Her investments are worth between $15,001 and $50,000, and she too plans to sell. It seems like everyone’s got a plan to cash in—maybe they’re all just waiting for the right moment to strike like a cat pouncing on a mouse.
Transportation Secretary Sean Duffy has reported Bitcoin assets between $250,001 and $500,000, along with a Gemini wallet and another investment in the Fidelity Wise Origin Bitcoin Fund worth between $50,001 and $100,000. It’s a veritable buffet of Bitcoin riches!
Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth, in a moment of candor, disclosed in December 2024 that he holds Bitcoin valued between $15,001 and $50,000. One can only wonder if he’s planning to use it to fund the next big military operation—“Operation Crypto Cash!”
Trump himself has claimed that government officials are among the biggest Bitcoin holders, and he’s got plans to make the U.S. the leading country for Bitcoin. It’s a bold vision, like a farmer dreaming of a bumper crop in a drought.
Meanwhile, David Sacks, the government’s AI and crypto czar, has taken a different route. He sold all his cryptocurrency before taking office, including Bitcoin, Ethereum, and Solana. “I sold everything before starting this job,” he reportedly said during a government ethics review. Perhaps he was just trying to avoid the headache of explaining his crypto portfolio at family gatherings!
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2025-03-13 19:34