It seems that dear old Ross Ulbricht—who somehow managed to trudge out of the penitentiary trenches with a Presidential stamp of approval—has now turned his saintly gaze toward the beleaguered figure of Roger Ver, alias Bitcoin Jesus. Yes, the very same chap now facing a biblical 109 years of can’t-pay-don’t-pass-go imprisonment for the sins of alleged tax evasion and fraud. ⛓️✝️
Ulbricht, who perhaps has taken a shine to the whole messiah-rescue operation, was rather effusive in commending Ver’s valiant efforts to spring him from the poky back in the day. We’re charmed, truly.
Roger Ver was there for me when I was down and needed help. Now Roger needs our support.
No one should spend the rest of their life in prison over taxes. Let him pay the tax (if any) and be done with it. #FreeRoger
— Ross Ulbricht (@RealRossU) February 20, 2025
Ross, with the zealous fervor of one who clearly has not yet had his fill of courtroom dramas, took to X (formerly known by some other preposterous name, no doubt) to plead his case. Fueled, perhaps, by gratitude or a great deal of post-prison optimism, Ulbricht opined that Ver ought simply to be allowed to toss a stack of dollar bills (or Bitcoin, one presumes) at the taxman and get on with his life. Simple as pie. 🥧
And the plot thickens: back in 2018, Ver was nabbed by Spanish authorities for reportedly not declaring certain *substantial* Bitcoin capital gains related to his 2014 decision to bid adieu to American citizenship. An audacious maneuver, but alas, perhaps not airtight.
The prosecution has been chirping about $48 million in unpaid taxes stemming from a hidden Bitcoin stash worth $240 million. Ver, naturally, swatted away these allegations as wild fantasy, insisting that the Bitcoin markets back then were as parched as prohibition-era speakeasies—impossible to file any exit tax under such dire liquidity conditions. 🍸✋
And now for the pièce de résistance: Ver has pinned all his hope on a certain Donald J. Trump. Yes, you heard that correctly. The 45th President, who earlier waved his magical pardon wand over Ulbricht, is now Ver’s knight in—or should we say gold—ahem, armor. Time will tell if clemency rains down like mana from heaven. Until then, let us watch this absurdity unfold like a particularly kitschy soap opera. 🎭
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2025-02-21 13:11