The Wacky Dip-A-Palooza in Bitcoin Land! 🪙🐋

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Glassnode says whales are stacking sats like they’re hoarding bagels, while regular folks sell faster than their dogs chasing a squirrel.

Bitcoin Takes a Disco Nap While Whales Load Their Plates

So, Bitcoin (BTC) decided to take a tiny coffee break, showing a little price dip today. But wait, the whales are yelling, “Snack time!” Glassnode tells us these crypto juggernauts have gobbled up more than 129,000 BTC since March 11. Meanwhile, Bitcoin’s price is making enough dramatic turns to audition for a soap opera. At $86,949.16 (down 1.33% in 24 hours), it’s still flexing with a 3.04% gain over the past week. The fluctuation range is somewhere between “meh” ($86,460.55) and “oh la la” ($88,542.39). Seriously, is Bitcoin trying to be an Olympic gymnast now?

(Ah, the glorious ups and downs of Bitcoin on Trading View — hold onto your pixels!)

Market Metrics: Fun with Numbers!

Okay, class, let’s talk math — sort of. Trading volume? Down 8.74%, hitting $28.56 billion. The total market cap slipped by 1.23%, now chilling at $1.72 trillion. But oh snap! Bitcoin dominance is climbing again, reaching 61.57%. Let’s just call it the high school quarterback of cryptocurrencies.

(Bitcoin dominance on Trading View — Looks like someone enjoys being top dog 🐕)

In the futures market, it’s all about cooling off. Total open interest dipped 2.86% to $55.45 billion because, apparently, everyone decided it’s “Sweatpants Sunday.” Liquidations over the last 24 hours totaled $9.19 million, with long positions taking the biggest smack, accounting for $8.25 million. Short positions? Just $943,000 — barely enough for a decent stake at Monopoly!

Whales: The Buffet is Open 🐋

Despite Bitcoin taking its brief siesta, Glassnode’s onchain data shows whales are too busy playing Hungry Hungry Hippos. These big ballers added more than 129,000 BTC since March 11. Small holders, meanwhile, are panic-selling like it’s the last call at the bar. Come on, folks, hold tight — patience pays, unless it’s a scammy diet pill.

(Zoom in — this graphic screams “Whales gotta eat!” / Glassnode)

“The average BTC supply per whale is rising more than my grandma’s yeast rolls during Thanksgiving dinner,” Glassnode wrote. “But hey, it’s still below December’s levels. So, there’s room for growth — as long as whales don’t catch that post-turkey nap syndrome.”

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2025-03-26 19:28