This Guy Sent Crypto to ISIS and Got 30 Years—And Yes, His Internet History Is Wild

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If you ever find yourself complaining about your Venmo fees, just remember the saga of Mohammed Azharuddin Chhipa—a man from Virginia whose knack for multitasking landed him not a beach house or a crypto yacht, but 30+ years of introspective solitude courtesy of Uncle Sam.🤦‍♂️

Between 2019 and 2022, Chhipa funneled a six-digit chunk of change to ISIS, apparently deciding that several thousand dollars in Bitcoin was the answer to, well, let’s call it aggressive humanitarianism. The Department of Justice says he “aided” the group, which is one way to describe personally schlepping around the Commonwealth collecting donations like a deranged Girl Scout—except instead of thin mints, he was hawking global mayhem.🍪💣

Rather than retire to a yacht with his $185K, Chhipa upgraded the operation: social media campaigns, hand deliveries, and crypto transactions zipping off to Turkey, before finding their way into Syria. Judging from court docs, he wasn’t alone; one of his partners in crime was a bona fide ISIS cell member who could’ve used LinkedIn endorsements for “prison breaks” and “recurring acts of villainy.”⭐️

The Justice Department, well-versed in tracking down the thrill-seeking types who convert illicit cash to cryptocurrency, watched as Chhipa’s résumé evolved from “finance enthusiast” to “material supporter of terrorism.” After what I imagine was the world’s most awkward social media deep dive, the FBI swooped in and slapped him with five criminal counts—one for conspiracy, four for supporting a proscribed organization, and zero for common sense.

So if your crypto wallet ever gets you in trouble, just remember: you’re probably not going to federal prison for turbocharging international terrorism. And if you are, maybe tone it down on social media next time.👀

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2025-05-09 11:42