Trumplandia’s Bitcoin Shenanigans: What Happens When Crypto Meets Confusion?

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On the fifth day of February, when crystal balls were decidedly murky, the once-booming inflows into spot Bitcoin exchange-traded funds took a leisurely stroll, perhaps to contemplate the vagaries of existence or just to grab a cup of tea. This unforeseen chill followed riveting comments—because who wouldn’t want riveting comments?—from Trump’s appointed crypto oracle, regarding the nation’s grand plan for a strategic Bitcoin reserve. Or as some might say, “A strategy of sorts.” 🍵🤔

Let’s consult the scrolls—sorry, the data—from SoSoValue, which revealed that a mere $66.38 million in net inflows shuffled their way into the twelve valiant Bitcoin ETFs on that fateful Wednesday, a jaw-dropping 80% decrease from the previous day’s glittering $340.82 million. Most of this cash flowed into BlackRock’s IBIT, which positively bloomed with $44.35 million, as if the fund were suddenly sprouting financial petals. 🌸💰

Other little darlings like WidomTree’s BTCW and Fidelity’s FBTC joined this charade, contributing $11.38 million and $10.65 million in joyous inflows. Meanwhile, the nine remaining Bitcoin funds just sat there, staring at their shoes, as they reported no inflows or outflows. (Spoiler alert: they were rather bored.)

On that day, trading volume frolicked around $2.04 billion, while the cumulative net inflows since the start of this grand tale stood at an impressive $40.67 billion. A good haul indeed, provided you never take a trip to the land of bitcoin envy.

Now, this peculiar dip in sentiment can likely be traced back to that enlightening discussion where Trump’s crypto clairvoyant regaled us with the nation’s digital destiny plans, which, much like a good book, had several pages missing. Apparently, the quest to explore the “feasibility of a strategic BTC reserve” remains atop the crypto council’s to-do list. Unfortunately, ‘to-do’ was all they could manage, as no actual doings were reported. 🎭🙃

As investors twiddled their thumbs in uncertainty about this elusive U.S. strategic Bitcoin reserve, which awaited clarity since promises of yesteryear during campaign trails, they took a cautious approach—because apparently walking on eggshells is the new trend. By the time our intrepid journalists filed this report, Bitcoin (BTC) was up to its usual antics, down 0.4% and twinkling at $97,847 per coin. 🐉✨

Ethereum ETF inflows also slumped

But wait! The drama continues! The nine illustrious Ethereum ETFs didn’t just slump; they took a nosedive of epic proportions to $18.11 million in net inflows on February 5, plummeting from a staggering $307.77 million just the day before. Talk about following the trend of deflation like a shy balloon at a party! 🎈😱

Fidelity’s FETH shone brightly among the gloom, coaxing in $20.06 million, while Grayscale’s mini Ethereum Trust attracted a reflective $5.21 million like a moth to a flame. However, Grayscale’s larger ETHE fund was the lone wolf of the day, experiencing a net outflow of $7.16 million, which must have made it feel a bit left out at the party. The remaining ETH ETFs maintained a stoic neutrality, likely discussing philosophy. 🤨🦉

All totaled up, the spot Ether ETFs found themselves down a whopping $3.17 billion, proving that sometimes it’s not just about the number of friends you have, but rather how many stick around after the pizza is gone. At last word, Ethereum (ETH) had cheerfully perked up by 2.5%, trading at $2,835, likely dreaming about better days that lay ahead. 💭🎉

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2025-02-06 10:04