Trump’s Billion-Dollar Crypto Scheme: Fact or Fiction? 🧐💰

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Trump’s Billion-Dollar Crypto Scheme: Fact or Fiction? 🧐💰

In a show that might be mistaken for satire, Trump Media & Technology Group, the noble keepers of Truth Social (a platform perhaps more truthful in name than in fact), are apparently plotting to gather around $3 billion—yes, billion with a B—to dabble in that perplexing world of cryptocurrencies, including Bitcoin, which now seems to be the national dish of every political dinner. 🎩💸

This audacious plan, highlighted in a recent Financial Times report (some say it’s just gossip for the newsroom’s lunch hour), proposes to net $2 billion from fresh equity and add another $1 billion via convertible bonds—because who doesn’t love a good bond when imagining their future wealth? However, details are as shaky as a wet loaf of bread—timing and size are still subject to the whims of fortune, or perhaps the caprice of the finance gods.

Trump Media Dismisses Reports As ‘Fake News’ (Because Everything Is Fake News Now) 🤥

When asked about this diabolical plan, TMTG—the company that once promised to bring down social media giants—dismissed the reports as “fake news.” Of course, the White House has yet to comment—probably engrossed in more pressing matters, like which snack to serve at the next state dinner. 🍪

The company, ever the explorers of new frontiers, is now venturing beyond its original social media scope into the realms of financial services, possibly to diversify or perhaps just to keep their accountants guessing. Recently, Trump Media even inked a deal to launch retail investment products aligned with “America First,” which might be code for “whatever makes us money.”

These new products, potentially including cryptocurrencies and ETFs, have attracted the watchful eyes of regulators—who probably think blockchain is some mysterious new dance step. The big capital raise, still unconfirmed, is timed to coincide with a gathering of crypto enthusiasts where even Vice President JD Vance and Trump’s sons will be speaking—presumably about which coin will rise next or how to hide their gains better.

Critics Slam The President’s Cryptocurrency Dinner (Because It’s Not a Party Without Scandal) 🍽️💥

Following this, Trump hosted an exclusive dinner at his golf club for the elite crypto investors, those who bought TRUMP memecoin—launched mere days before his inauguration. About 220 of these big spenders attended, probably dreaming of yachts and a new boat, or perhaps just hoping for a quick flip. 🚤

Critics—always eager to find a scandal—called this gathering a “glaring example of corruption,” with protesters outside holding signs like “Stop Crypto Corruption” and “No Kings,” perhaps wishing they could also enjoy a free dinner. Democratic Senator Elizabeth Warren labeled the event an “orgy of corruption,” which might be a slight exaggeration but certainly captures the aroma of greed wafting through the air.

And of course, Trump’s family isn’t just watching from the sidelines—they are heavily involved, with Donald Jr. and Eric plunging headlong into crypto ventures like American Bitcoin, partnering with Hut 8 in the grand tradition of family businesses aimed at making fortunes—or at least trying to. 🤞

Bitcoin Market Chart

Meanwhile, Bitcoin, that revered darling of the crypto world, is trading just above $109,400, seemingly basking in a 15% surge over the month—probably feeling quite pleased with itself. As for Trump’s memecoin? It’s down 19% to $12.71, perhaps because dinner parties don’t always translate into soaring token prices, no matter how exclusive they are. 🤷‍♂️

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2025-05-27 13:13