Trump’s Crypto Crackdown: Less Crime, More Chaos!

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In a move that could only be described as quintessentially Trumpian, the U.S. government has decided to shutter its National Cryptocurrency Enforcement Team (NCET). The decision, much like the man himself, is bold, brash, and leaves everyone wondering what exactly the plan is. 🤔

Assistant U.S. Attorney Todd Blanche, who moonlights as Trump’s legal knight in shining armor, confirmed the closure in a memo that read like a manifesto for regulatory anarchy. The four-page directive argued that the crypto industry deserves a break from the pesky oversight of the Department of Justice. Because, really, who needs rules when you’ve got blockchain? 🚀

Blanche, ever the loyalist, took a swipe at the previous administration’s approach, which involved—gasp—actually prosecuting criminals. He insisted that the DOJ should not meddle in the Wild West of digital assets. After all, why bother with crime when you can just focus on the occasional investor who gets swindled? 🎩

Going forward, the department will abandon its efforts to police crypto infrastructure like exchanges and mixing tools. Instead, it will focus on individuals who defraud investors directly. Because nothing says “justice” like chasing after the small fry while the big fish swim away. 🐟

NCET, which had been active since 2021, was responsible for some of the most high-profile crypto investigations in recent memory. Its targets included Tornado Cash, a crypto mixer accused of enabling illicit activity; Avraham Eisenberg, who allegedly manipulated DeFi protocols to extract over $100 million; and North Korean operatives tied to laundering stolen digital assets. But hey, who needs a dedicated unit when you’ve got a president who tweets his way through policy? 🐦

The closure of NCET marks a significant shift in the federal government’s approach to crypto-related crime. Gone are the days of sweeping crackdowns on platforms and protocols. Instead, we’re left with a more “targeted” approach—which, in Trump-speak, likely means “let’s wing it and see what happens.” 🎯

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2025-04-09 08:56