US Seeks Court Approval to Return $8.2M in Seized Crypto to Scam Victims

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Shocking Scammers Stole Millions in Crypto—Will Victims Ever See Their Cash Again? 💸😱

In a twist of fate that seems pulled from a mediocre thriller novel, the United States Attorney’s Office in Ohio has decided to do the right thing and is seeking to return a staggering $8.2 million in seized crypto to those who fell victim to a particularly sneaky scam operation. Who knew crypto could be as confusing as my last family reunion? 🎭

According to a recent announcement—because nothing says justice like an official press release—authorities are asking the court to formally seize these funds, which are very much tied to the wails of the bamboozled. It appears the scammers thought they were the protagonists in some grand heist movie, only to find that they were actually the comic relief. 😂

These lovable rogues deceived at least 33 unsuspecting souls across the U.S. by sending “wrong number” texts and creating fraudulent trading platforms. Who knew that a simple text could lead to millions in losses? It’s almost as if these scam artists took a masterclass in suckering people out of their cash, right next to my uncle who sells “miracle” diet pills. 🍔

The entire charade started with the classic “wrong number” text, which I imagine looked a lot like your grandma casually asking if you’re still single. They befriended the victims, luring them into what appeared to be a riveting world of cryptocurrency investment—a place about as real as my attempts at adulting. And let’s not forget the charming term for this twisted game: pig butchering. Don’t ask me. I still can’t figure out why they couldn’t just stick to knitting. 🐷

After convincing these poor souls to open accounts on platforms like Crypto.com and Coinbase, the scammers played a high-stakes game of *You Can’t Cash Out*™. Sure, they let their victims withdraw small amounts to keep the façade alive, only to slam the door shut when it was time to actually see some cash. It’s like giving someone a taste of family heirloom stew only to toss in a hefty tax demand right at the end. 🍲💸

One particularly unfortunate lady from Lake County, Ohio, lost her entire life savings—$663,000—because apparently her Roth IRA didn’t come with a warning label. After reporting this digital horror story to the FBI in June 2024, an investigation revealed that these funds were as traceable as that bad decision at the bar last Friday night. 🍺

Authorities, performing their best detective impressions, used blockchain analysis to trace the stolen crypto to three wallets, demonstrating that even the most naive among us can get lucky occasionally. The FBI swung into action with a seizure warrant, putting a freeze on those pesky funds faster than you can say “crypto catastrophe.” ❄️

In a strikingly formal forfeiture complaint, U.S. Attorney Carol Skutnik and Assistant U.S. Attorney James Morford requested an official seal of approval to seize the recovered crypto. They found additional funds tied to money laundering and wire fraud lurking in those accounts like unwelcome relatives at a family function. This is the kind of plot twist you only see in bad TV dramas. 📺

It turns out that pig butchering scams caused quite a headache, accounting for 33.2% of scam-related crypto inflows in 2024 alone. I mean, who thought that 210% of deposits into scams year-over-year was a trend worth celebrating? Clearly, someone is doing very well in their villainous endeavors, likely spurred on by the same impulses that make me try every new diet on the market. 🙄

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2025-03-03 10:41