Vitalik Buterin’s Secret Plan to Save Ethereum: Privacy, Pools, and a Dash of Chaos!

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In a move that has left the crypto world both intrigued and slightly confused, Vitalik Buterin, the co-founder of Ethereum, has unveiled a proposal that aims to sprinkle a bit of privacy magic onto the blockchain without turning the whole thing upside down. 🎩✨

In a post on the Ethereum Magicians forum (a place where wizards of code gather to discuss the future of digital gold), Buterin laid out a plan that could make privacy as natural as breathing—or at least as natural as sending crypto without everyone knowing how much you’ve got in your wallet. 🕵️‍♂️💼

The idea? Integrate privacy tools like Railgun and privacy pools directly into wallets. No more separate apps, no more fuss. Just shielded balances and private transactions by default. It’s like giving your wallet a cloak of invisibility, but without the Hogwarts tuition fees. 🧙‍♂️💸

To make this happen, Buterin is calling for the adoption of FOCIL and EIP-7701, two technical upgrades that sound like they were named by a committee of robots. These upgrades would make it easier to run privacy protocols like Tornado Cash and Railgun without relying on centralized relayers. Because, let’s face it, who trusts a centralized relayer these days? 🤖🚫

But that’s not all! The proposal also suggests using a separate wallet address for each app you interact with. It’s like having a different hat for every occasion, but for your crypto. This would make it harder for nosy onlookers to connect the dots between your various blockchain activities. 🎩🔗

And for those who are worried about their data when apps connect to Ethereum, Buterin has a solution: trusted execution environments for now, and private information retrieval in the future. The latter is still a bit too slow for prime time, but hey, Rome wasn’t built in a day. 🏛️⏳

Now, before you get too excited, there’s a catch. Some of these changes might make things a bit less convenient for users, which could slow down adoption. Buterin’s proposal doesn’t require changes to Ethereum’s base layer, so it’s easier to implement, but it’s not exactly a walk in the park. 🚶‍♂️🌳

This proposal comes at a time when Ethereum’s market performance is, well, let’s just say it’s not exactly setting the world on fire. As of April 11, Ethereum is trading at around $1,547, a 20% decline in the past two weeks. The cryptocurrency closed Q1 45% down and has lost 77% against Bitcoin since December 2021. Ouch. 📉💔

📊 Ethereum has been the source of humor for many top cap crypto traders, with the $ETH / $BTC ratio now down a massive -77% since December, 2021. But should its long-term slump make it an automatic write-off by now? Absolutely not. Read our deep dive. 👇

— Santiment (@santimentfeed) April 11, 2025

One Santiment analyst noted that new updates are making it harder for average investors to understand Ethereum’s roadmap. While many altcoins have outperformed it, Ethereum’s growth has slowed, partly due to constant changes and unclear messaging. It’s like trying to follow a soap opera where the plot changes every five minutes. 📺🤯

The analyst also pointed out the growing competition from newer, simpler blockchains as among the reasons for Ethereum’s falling price. It’s a tough world out there, and even the king of smart contracts isn’t immune to a bit of competition. 👑💥

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2025-04-11 10:49