In a twist of galactic proportions, our earthly overlord, Donald Trump—yes, the one with the hair that defies physics—has unceremoniously revealed a strategic crypto reserve that boasts a motley crew of assets: BTC, ETH, SOL, ADA, and the ever-elusive XRP. Meanwhile, our cryptic savant, Cameron Winklevoss, co-founder of that shimmering digital bazaar known as Gemini, has emphatically declared that only Bitcoin, the original space rock of digital currency, deserves a seat at this illustrious table. 🚀
In a message that echoes through the digital ether (known as X), Winklevoss proclaims, “Bitcoin is the only asset that meets the bar for a store of value reserve asset.” All the while, he acknowledges that Ethereum might squeak in next to Bitcoin, establishing itself as the “hair gel” of the crypto world—useful but hardly a perfect match for our shiny golden boy.
“I’m positively thrilled about a Strategic Reserve,” he chirps, “but seriously, have you seen the lineup? Bitcoin alone meets the criteria, possibly Ethereum, and those other contenders? They’re like trying to get a cat to fetch: just not in the cards.”
— Cameron Winklevoss (@cameron) March 3, 2025
Winklevoss goes on to argue that the only way for other digital assets such as SOL, XRP, and ADA to legitimately join this club is through a government crackdown—akin to cleaning out your attic to find long-lost board games. “If the government happens to stumble upon these assets via some legal shenanigans, like seizures or forfeiture, I suppose they might have a chance,” he said, petting his Bitcoin like a cat. “But please, let’s not go buying them directly from the open market—it’s just not the same, is it?”
This eyebrow-raising remark arrives amidst a cosmic tempest of debates in the crypto universe regarding the inclusion of altcoins in national reserves. Winklevoss stands firm, convinced that only Bitcoin proudly showcases the traits of a true store of value—reminiscent of the finest vaults of yore filled with gold nuggets and swindled hopes. 💰
Trump’s announcement of the Strategic Crypto Reserve last Sunday has sent ripples through the crypto community, transforming it into a lively discussion ground where industry leaders are passionately dissecting whether SOL, XRP, and ADA truly deserve a spot beside the mighty Bitcoin.
Meanwhile, the crypto aficionados are not holding back criticism, claiming that Solana (SOL), XRP, and Cardano (ADA) have accomplished nothing more substantial than a toddler with a crayon. They rightfully wonder how these upstarts are being compared to Bitcoin in this elite gathering.
“The initial tokens named for the ‘Crypto Strategic Reserve’: $XRP – existent only for insiders to unload on mere mortals. $ADA – let’s just say its founder might have a questionable social calendar. $SOL – the poster child for pump and dump schemes.”
— Magoo PhD (@HodlMagoo) March 2, 2025
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2025-03-03 21:44